I was doing my devotions this morning (and especially enjoying a quiet house in almost two weeks!). I started by praying and thinking through the whole new year thing. I find myself asking God how things like this are observed in heaven. My thoughts have been more heaven-focused in the last two and a half years because of Caleb being there. I wondered if they watch all of the fireworks from Sidney to Los Angeles, though I'm sure they don't compare with anything in heaven itself. In any event, it still helps me to imagine celebrations and birthday parties for Jesus and the like. And there's Caleb with a grand spot at the banquet table right between Grandma Dot and George Washington!
Anyway, I prayed about some more things going on in our life, especially filled with gratitude for some recent open doors. I decided to do a devotional out of the Women of Faith Bible that my mom got me for Christmas (I've enjoyed their ministry, especially after attending a conference in Columbus last April and meeting cool people like Michelle ;-). The devotional I read today was by Patsy Clairmont and was titled Freedom from Perfectionism -- right up my alley. But the devotional held something for me that I wasn't expecting. The following is a passage from said devotional:
There's something about loss that has the potential to take us by the hand and help us find a way to survive outside the context of our pain.
I have found that my mistakes often lead to a clearer resolve, my losses often bulldoze a path to untapped courage, and my limitations can teach internal liberty by God's grace.
Not only do I want to make the mistakes in my life to mess with my perfectionism so that God can show Himself in my imperfection, but I am hoping that I may also learn -- no, embrace -- this year that, through my family's loss, God can give us strength that we never knew we had. Would I give up what we've gone through to not have that strength? You'd better believe it. But that was not God's plan. His plan is to use our painful loss to glorify Himself and manifest the strength in us that we didn't even know we could possess. At first, I would say to God, "I think you've got the wrong person. I don't think I can make it through this." But God knew from the beginning what he was doing. I still wouldn't chose this for myself, but for some reason God did.
I realized a while back that everyone has their "one big thing" with which they're struggling. It may not be the loss of a child like mine is, but it's just as big to you as that is to me. It may be a disappointment, divorce, job loss, broken relationship -- in any event, there's loss. Maybe God wants to use that loss to give you strength you didn't know you could have, too.
Worth It All - Rita Springer
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
1 comment:
I know you feel your loss every day, but I also know that God is continually glorified through your family because of Caleb. Thank God that His grace truly is sufficient for us, and His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
Post a Comment