Homeschooling... so far...

Well, yesterday the big yellow school busses came and took my monkeys away as they do every fall. This year, though, for the first time in about six years, one monkey didn't get on. That part was a little weird but, again, after much prayer, weighing and thought, homeschooling is what we really feel is best for Mr. Micah this year. And, though we're not in full swing until next week, it will be a nice adjustment for him I believe. The very thought of going to middle school was seriously stressing him out. After his declining grades and inability to perform in the classroom well without one-on-one attention, we find ourselves peacefully here.

In the spring, when I started tossing around this idea, I happened upon www.Time4Learning.com. I poked around on the website and read several (almost all positive) reviews on other sites. The monthy price is extremely reasonable and they even offer a two week money back guarantee. Just after Micah's birthday at the end of July, I signed him up to give it a try. I figured this would give us the rest of the summer to figure out if this would be a good fit and give us time to land solidly on what we want to do for school.

The first time we logged on was actually the evening that we had his birthday party - so let me truly set the scene - we had a very fun, busy pool party that ran until about 8:30pm. Needless to say, after cleaning up and all the other nonsense that goes with parties, we were pretty tired! I was so excited to try it out, though, that around 11:30pm, I parked my 11-year-old in front of the computer anyway to see what he thought. The decision was to start with math (math is one of his favorite subjects. He was in GT math in public school last year for 5th grade so I figured it wouldn't be too stressful :-). I gave him a quick tutorial in how to get to his lessons and we clicked to start the math lesson. The loading screen came on - a monkey - and he starts laughing (admittedly, I did too). The lesson launched in about Roman Numerals using animated, cartoon-type characters and he was hooked. The lesson was fairly long and he sat there and did every problem! I did not once have to say, "Come on, keep going, let's just finish." When he was done I asked him how he thought this would be for school and he said, "This is GREAT! I really like it" and not in a say-what-mom-wants-to-get-her-off-my-back way!

We continued lessons (mostly math) that week with the same interest/enthusiasm. The following week, we left for vacation. Fortunately, we had internet access in our condo. Now get this - my son was asking to do lessons while we were on vacation! Yes, my inattentive ADHD son who struggled in school last year was doing school work by choice. Woot woot! He tried some other subjects during this time. He was a little disappointed to find that not every subject has movies and characters - some of it, like History sections, you actually have to read (heaven forbid!) and answer questions, but I assured him we can tackle those together if they get overwhelming. Another thing I really like about it is that when you enroll your child, you have access to not only the grade (s)he is in, but the grades above and below their grade as well (which will work well for my aforementioned GT math student). He also really likes the playground, which is a type of built-in "reward system" that features games, puzzles, etc. They accumulate minutes on the playground by doing lessons and then have a cyber reward for their hard work..

I'm excited about a supplement they offer - Time4Art. I believe once you have had an account for about 30 days, you get access to this too. Check that off of the homeschool checklist!

I've logged on as a parent as well and meandered around. I like that parents can look into the lessons and preview what is coming up. Unfortunately (I think because we did our trial) I didn't do quite as much nosing as I plan to, mostly because we did our trial in the summer and it's... well... summer! I didn't have a need to post to message boards, but I have been on them and read many helpful things. They even group students by state which poses some interesting field trip possibilities.

If you're homeschooling and looking for something from which to base your core or even to supplement what you're already doing, Time4Learning is high on my recommendation list. Check it out!

*I'd like to mention that these opinions all belong to little ol' me. None of this content was written by Time4Learning but the author (moi) was compensated for giving a review.

I remember you like yesterdays...

"Yesterdays"
by Switchfoot

Flowers cut and brought inside
Black cars in a single line
Your family in suits and ties
And you're free

The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I'm alone for our last goodbye
But you're free

I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone, oh...
I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
And until I'm with you, I'll carry on

Adrift on your ocean floor
I feel weightless, numb, and sore
A part of you in me is torn
And you're free

I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life
In me

I'll carry on

Every lament is a love song
Yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
So long my friend, so long

It's been five years since we said an unwilling goodbye to our ten-year-old, Caleb. Of course, we set this day aside to reflect, more than we do in just our daily routine because, honestly, there's still not one single day that goes by that I don't think about him.

After five years, the grieving process gets a little different. I guess the grieving and remembering are more concentrated on days like today, his birthday and Mother's/Father's Day. There are still those random things, though that creep up and kind of nab you when you're not expecting it. Sometimes having to "go there" trashes the rest of my day and sometimes I stumble a bit, get my footing and go on. I suppose it will always be like that.

I don't want it to seem like it's a big inconvenience that I have this in my life, messing up otherwise ideal or perfect days. On the other hand, though, I don't like it. I'll never like the fact that I set the table for five instead of six. I'll never get used to the fact that I should have two boys in high school now instead of one. I hate that my nine-year-old has very fuzzy memories of the brother he lost when he was only four. There's nothing about losing my son that is fair or that I like.

But when I stop and breathe in and stop banging my fists, there is this standstill peace that God is still in control. I have no choice but to trust Him until we're done here on this side of eternity and I can see my son again and thank my God for not giving me more than I could handle without His strength (though it didn't always feel like it) and I suppose maybe I'll know why. But I might not.

So today, I blog as a huge part of my process, and we Stevens will cling as we remember and continue to process our loss and heaven's gain.

Do me a favor though? Just love on those kids of yours. Not out of fear of what you could lose. but just because God put them there.