Saturday, May 13, 2006

Sad

I have honestly tried to make all of my blogs fairly happy and positive, but I now need to pull on the therapuetic advantages of a blog. I'm really down tonight. I didn't think Mother's Day coming would be that hard. I just planned to ignore it like I have with all of the other holidays since Caleb died. but this one is hitting me harder than I thought it would. There's no way when we celebrated last year that I had any idea I wouldn't have one of my sweet boys with me a year later.

I really do trust God that his way is best. I can't say that I agree or would chose to have things go the way they have, but I choose to trust his infinite wisdom.

I just miss him so darn much. I told Matt the other night that it's getting harder to remember specifics about him. There are things I will always have ingrained in my mind, but the day to day mannerisms and stuff like that are getting a little harder. Makes me wish I had just follwed him around with a video camera for a couple of days -- just reguar ordinary days. And it's hard to find the balance between thinking about things a lot to remember but not too much so that you can't function.

If you read this, thank you for caring and keeping up with my journey. My family and I could still use your prayers. Please also pray for my friend, Barb, and her daughter, Kate, who lost their mom/grandma today.

-sigh-

I sincerely hope you enjoy time with your mom/kids this Mother's Day. God is so good to give us each other...

1 comment:

Jeremy Del Rio said...

Diana and I just prayed for you. May the peace that surpasses understanding fill your heart and mind tonight, and may your sleep be sweet. Be enveloped by His love, surrounded by His presence, and comforted by His unfailing kindness. We love you!