and now I'm home...

...and tired! Ten plus hours in the car today. We got Alyse all settled in, though, and had fun doing it. So mission accomplished.

I have a very busy week ahead. The boys all start school a week from tomorrow and we still have to get school supplies, get on our new schedule, visit both schools.... all exciting stuff, though, so not too much of a burden. And then there's the usual weekly phone calls, cleaning and errands. Tell you a little secret, though... I love it. I am so looking forward to working from home and being home this year. I love home (more than I love lamp). And especially THIS home. I think I like it more each time I come home to it.

(the word "home" was in the preceeding paragraph five times, in case you didn't count for yourself)

My husband did a brilliant job of holding down the fort and even supervised major cleaning detail Saturday morning. Yea Matt. So I get to sleep in my own bed tonight AND the house is clean. Wow. I feel like there's going to be a leprechaun on my porch in the morning or something.

Life is good. God is good.

Your thoughts?

I'm in Tennessee!

That's right folks. I up and took off for a warmer climate. My friend, Sue, drove her daughter, Alyse, down to Lee University today and I came along for some companionship and general amusement (I am rather amusing after all...)

It was a nice, long drive. The sadly ironic thing is, however, I am no where close to the family I have in Tennessee. But never fear, I am slated to see them next weekend around our Chain Reaction weekend in Hunstville, AL.

Tomorrow, we get Alyse moved into her dorm and get to see the campus in broad daylight. From what we saw this evening in the dark, it is quite beautiful. I caught a glimpse of a beautiful grand piano in the music building that I may try to sneak off and get my hands on. Matt and the boys are at home enjoying a quiet house with no company for the first time in almost a month.

I am thankful that I was at a point in my schedule where I could just take off and go for a few days. I realized that it is the first time I've ever taken a road trip with a couple of other girls and I'm rather enjoying myself. When I get back, we will be getting geared up for school, which starts on the 28th.

I'm sleepy. More later...

hooray...

Tonight, I won Dutch Blitz with my sister-in-law, Karen, and my nephew, Zak. This is very refreshing because I often come close to winning without actually winning. Feel me? But tonight I tasted sweet victory (while I tasted some fudge at the same time).

So does this change anything in the scheme of eternity? Not so much. It was just fun to win for once.

Cool, huh.

You seriously think you're bringing that mouthwash on the plane? Seriously?

OK. So I've been thinking about yesterday's crisis -- which did directly affect us, by the way. My friend Debbie flew out of BWI and she really thought through if she wanted to fly with all of the goings on. Long story short, she did and was not blown up by explosive toothpaste. That is a good thing.

But I was thinking about how much intelligence it must require to come up with liquids that you can safely bring on an airplane and then mix together to blow it up. I mean, seriously. My biggest question is why can't these brilliant minds spend their time doing something more productive? There are diseases to be cured, clean up from natural disasters that could still be done... come on. I wish I had that kind of a scientific mind so I could do something to benefit mankind instead of crafting ways to blow up Americans... which is a whole other issue in and of itself...

Friday, August 5, 2005

I wrote the following in my journal this morning:

A year ago today, my world came undone.

After a year, it still doesn't seem real.

I miss that beautiful, caring child more than I could ever put into words.

I've come to some conclusions, though, over the course of this past year. God owes us nothing. Every single day is a gift. If it's a good day, then it is a bonus. Even the ten years we had with Caleb - it was a gift. We didn't have to have any years at all, but we were graciously given ten -- a decade. And what a wonderful decade it was. To have a young man who has left behind such a legacy -- you can't make that happen. Only God can.

I won't be unrealisitc about this. My heart hurts like I never thought it could. Sometimes, in my head, I scream my questions at God. I see what my husband and son have had to experience and truly wonder why. I see my son without his partner and best friend re-learning how to live. I see two little boys whose memories of their big brother may someday be only something faint.

I know it's not fair but neither is God. He is just, though.

I got this as part of an email from my friend, Iris, yesterday:

"i was thinking about caleb today.

i was thinking about the fact that he was about my daughter's age when i met him.

even at that young age his loving qualities were very evident.

i remember how he was so giving and thoughtful even at that age...

when other children were still learning the concept of sharing... he just knew.

his sensitivity grew with every person he met.

in caleb's world, everyone's feelings mattered.

i love caleb.

and i just wanted to let you know that i was thinking about him.

he's just beautiful... and when someone's beautiful... their image is burned into your memory... it's locked away somewhere deep within the pocket in your heart."

Fortunately, today is a beautiful day. It feels like a day to be happy, so I will as much as possible. To those who have called, texted and emailed; if I don't get back to you, thank you. Thank you for remembering, praying for us, being in our life.


On another note, we have been very blessed with having folks in our home lately -- the biggest reason I wanted a bigger house with more rooms. I love having people over!! Matt's ministry partner, Jeremy, is here for a few days and we've enjoyed his company. My friend from way back, Debbie, is flying in on Monday. She and I share a lot of common interests; crocheting, sign language. She actually has experienced the loss of a child, too. Another thing, sadly, that binds us together. My parents and sister were here last weekend. They all helped out tremendously and we had a little fun in the midst of it, too.

I'm blessed to hear that there are people out there reading my blog. Please comment. It's not hard. You do have to sign up with blogger, but you don't necessarily have to blog.

My heart is really quite full of love for those dear friends and family out there. More happy blogging coming soon. I'm behind on some other thoughts I'd like to share, but... another day...

Hace calor

Oh my gosh, it is so freakin' hot! Today the temp is set to get up to 102, but, here's the good news -- it's going to FEEL like 113. A very unenthusiastic yippee.

We do not have central air in the house yet, so we have resigned ourselves to two window units in the basement and fans to spread it around (just like you, Melissa!). Now, the upstairs... we just avoid that all together. We've also discovered that the $3 movie theater provides a great respite for about two hours.

It's supposed to be down into to '80's by Saturday.

I'm so glad I'm not going to hell.

Cheers!

Fourteen years ago today, I married my best friend. We have had some pretty extreme highs and lows, but it has been so good. I am truly blessed.

We went downtown and ate at Philip's, rode in a little electric boat in the harbor, and got some dessert. We talked, laughed, even cried a little, and had a wonderful time. I am amazed that God put me with someone with whom I can spend so much time and still be crazy about him.

Like the song says, Matthew, you amaze me...



(this is us on Plumb Beach in Massachusetts during Chain Reaction twoish weeks ago)

I wanna be a part of it....

Well, let me just say thet New York has been hot... and not Paris Hilton hot, mind you; sweaty, sticky, big hair hot. We've been here since Monday -- the first leg of this summer's Chain Reaction stuff. We're not doing a structured Chain Reaction here in NYC -- just came to serve alongside our friends here at Abounding Grace. We've been doing things here at AG for several years now and consider them family. We're sleeping in our usual location -- the nursery. It's wall to wall us, but good. The group here has been doing outreach at a different location each day.

The boys love to play at Tompkins Park, where we had last night's outreach. Since it's been so hot, they have had the sprinklers on in the park. Funners.



The subway, of course, is always fun. It's much less nerve wracking as the boys are older now. The first time we did the subway with all four boys, Jacob was only 14 months old! You haven't experienced the subway until you've done it while accidentally smacking people in the head with a stroller! This is Jacob and Jeremy's son, Judah on the subway.



Well, we head to Massachusetts tonight. Chain Reaction New England kicks off Sunday evening/Monday morning. More pics and thought to come...

Arghhhh

There are lots of things I want to blog about but I just don't have the TIME right now!

Oh, where do I begin?

Hello, friends. I hope there are some out there still checking in with me every now and then. I know the blog has been silent as of late, but the internet is up and running at the new house so I will share what's inside my brain much more frequently.

The biggest news is actually something that happened quite suddenly and, unfortunately, devoured a week of productivity. Last Monday evening as I sat down to eat dinner, I started to feel really nauseous and noticed a pain in my lower left side that traveled into my lower back. The pain kind of came and went until finally I did get sick. After that, the pain really kicked in. In fact, it became pretty unbearable. Now, keep in mind, I've giving birth four times with no drugs. This was beginning to feel worse. Matthew called our insurance's medical advice line (I was worried about referral issues) and they eventually told us to go to the ER. We drove to GBMC around 1am. The pain was coming in "surges", causing me to break into a sweat and vomit every time the pain would peak. After some tests, x-rays, cat scans and blood work, they told me I had a kidney stone. I was sent home with a pain killer, anti-nausea medicine and a filter thing to try to catch the stone.

I felt better and slept quite a bit Tuesday. By Wednesday, I tried to get up and around a little more. By Wednesday night into Thursday, though, I noticed that the medication wasn't doing a whole lot. By Thursday evening, the pain became unbearable again - actually, worse than before. Matt took me back to the emergency room again. After IV fluids and painkillers, they decided to admit me because the pain couldn't be handled by oral painkillers. I spent a boring Friday in the hospital and was taken to the OR Saturday around noon to have the little bugger removed. I must admit, I was nervous. I've never been put under anethesia before. Matthew was there to pray with me and help keep me calm. The surgery felt kind of like a nap! I still have a stint in my kidney/bladder area that will have to be removed next week sometime, but we are definitely through the worst of things. I am still weak and a bit dizzy at times, but thankful to put this mess behind us!

Yes, in the midst of this we have completely moved over into the new house. My parents were here last weekend and were a tremendous help. My poor mom, though, slipped on our stairs and badly sprained her ankle. Another trip to the emergency room. After a wrap and some crutches, she kept going. What a trooper! I just talked to her today and she is doing pretty well.

I can't put into words how much I love this new house. You still have to be a bit of a visionary -- there are a lot of boxes around and the kitchen doesn't look completely like a kitchen yet -- but it feels right to be here. The yard is a blessing and this neighborhood is much different than where we lived before. We are getting things like we want them to be despite unrelenting rain, my medical escapades, and life happening in spite of everything.

It's time to pick up things with the CD as well. The feedback we're getting from those who are listening to it is encouraging. A few of you have contacted me wanting one. They're coming! Thanks for your patience.

That's all for now I guess. If you've read this whole thing, wow. Thanks. Stay tuned and come visit - my blog and at the new house. We're having a party Sunday from 4 - 7pm. Email me at supermommyof4@yahoo.com if you'd like more info...

More soon :-)

Overwhelmed

First - the good news. School is over. Yesssss.

Second - the not quite as great news. I have SO MUCH PACKING TO DO!! This week our stategy is basically to have Matt at the new house (which we affectionately refer to as Burton) working on building the new walls, painting, etc. while I am at the old/current house (aka Deanwood) packing our worldly possessions. After almost seven years, those worldly posessions amount to a lot.

Slow and steady, one bite at a time, etc.

Third - more good news. I'm very encouraged by the positive response I've gotten about the CD so far. I've kind of lost perspective on it because I've had to listen to it so many times. People seem to be blessed and encouraged by it and that is the ultimate goal.

Fourth - yummy news. We went over to Mike and Hazel's yesterday morning. Mike is graciously letting us use his truck in the midst of our remodeling/moving. Hazel baked us a big batch of her amazing chocolate chip cookies because she figured I didn't have time to bake right now. Right you are, Hazel, and so appreciated for making those incredible cookies!

Overall, life is good. I certainly cannot complain. God has blessed us with basically our dream house and our timetable has been pretty ideal.

Hope your life is full of chocolate chip cookies. I'll be back here again soon!

Full circle

Cool thing tonight. There's a girl whose name is Rachael and she's very cool. She was in our youth group at the Cathedral of Tomorrow about a million years ago (OK - I'm exaggerating - it was in '91-'92ish so like 15 years). The funny thing is that we have this habit of losing touch for a few years at a time, but we always seem to catch up with each other again. I found her sister-in-law on myspace recently and she graciously offered to pass my numbers on to Rachael (Thanks, Angie). So I got a call from Rachael tonight and we got a chance to catch up a bit - it's probably been around 8 years(?) since we've really talked. A lot of life has happened in that time. Happy me.

Oh, the CD is out and beginning to circulate. It has turned out really well. If you'd like to get your hands on one, email me and I'll assist you in doing so! My email is supermommyof4@yahoo.com.

Only two more days of school. There are no words...

Stay cool - and I mean that literally!

It's important to have a plan...

Well, the closing on our new house is Monday (finally!!), we closed on our current house on the 11th and the plans for moving are in place. The new house is quite wonderful and we are very excited. There is some remodeling to do (we're expanding the kitchen) and quite a bit of painting (if you're good with a brush and have some time, PLEASE let Matt know) but we do have a bit of a timetable now. I'm a little overwhelmed by the amount of work we have ahead of us, but it's going to be great when we're on the other side.

These are some shots of our backyard. It is HUGE!









The fireplace in our front room:

and this is the house from the back:


Obviously, for safety reasons, I'm not going to put our new address on here. If you want our info, email me at supermommyof4@yahoo.com. Thanks for sharing in my joy!!

Has anyone seen me?

If I happen to come up missing in the next week and a half or so, you may want to look under a large pile of papers to be graded. I have SO much to do before school is out. And if I'm under there and asleep, just let me sleep...

Happy Birfday!

Well, today Mr. Jacob is five years old and, let me tell you, he thinks he's pretty hot stuff. He came into the bathroom this morning. I was at the sink and Matt was in the shower. I said, "Happy birthday, baby," to which he gave the proper answer of, "Thank you," (proud mommy moment). He then promptly left the bathroom. Matt said, "Happy birthday" and Jacob obviously didn't hear because he had left. Jacob promptly returned, this time to actually USE the bathroom. He did what was necessary and then leaned up to the shower curtain and said, "What do you say to me today, Daddy?"

He's a little mad at me though. He feels that he should be in kindergarten today since he is five now. I think he'll get over it.

We were carrying all the party stuff for his class to the car and he informed us that he did not have to carry anything because it was his birthday! If only life were that simple!

There will be presents and more cake later, along with big boys presents like bikes, action figures and skate boards.

I can't believe my baby is five. Enjoy it folks. It goes so fast...

Sad

I have honestly tried to make all of my blogs fairly happy and positive, but I now need to pull on the therapuetic advantages of a blog. I'm really down tonight. I didn't think Mother's Day coming would be that hard. I just planned to ignore it like I have with all of the other holidays since Caleb died. but this one is hitting me harder than I thought it would. There's no way when we celebrated last year that I had any idea I wouldn't have one of my sweet boys with me a year later.

I really do trust God that his way is best. I can't say that I agree or would chose to have things go the way they have, but I choose to trust his infinite wisdom.

I just miss him so darn much. I told Matt the other night that it's getting harder to remember specifics about him. There are things I will always have ingrained in my mind, but the day to day mannerisms and stuff like that are getting a little harder. Makes me wish I had just follwed him around with a video camera for a couple of days -- just reguar ordinary days. And it's hard to find the balance between thinking about things a lot to remember but not too much so that you can't function.

If you read this, thank you for caring and keeping up with my journey. My family and I could still use your prayers. Please also pray for my friend, Barb, and her daughter, Kate, who lost their mom/grandma today.

-sigh-

I sincerely hope you enjoy time with your mom/kids this Mother's Day. God is so good to give us each other...

Pictures from the beach at Galveston

Enjoy....

Just a matter of time

Howdy to all my buddies out there.

Well, yesterday we finally shipped off everything for the CD!! Yea! It should take discmakers a few days to master, then about two weeks to duplicate. We hope to have product in hand by the end of the month.

I am very happy with the way everything has turned so far. The music, the artwork... not bad for our first project. More than anything else, though, I really hope it will be a blessing and encouragement to those who get ahold of it.

If you want one, I'll let you know how to get one soon.

Thanks for reading...

Socks are my nemesis

I think they seriously gather at night and have meetings, deciding who is going to hide where. Can we get Congress to pass a bill making all socks uniform so I don't have to spend literally hours on the floor of my family room agonizing over matching the exact grey-tipped toe with another? (Perhaps it would help if I were not so anal!)

I can't tell you how many mornings I've hoped that Jacob would happen to not remove his shoes for nap that day because the best I could match with his navy school sock was a black one.

I think finding only one sock and not it's mate is worse than finding none at all. Deep my friends, very deep. I should write fortune cookies.

I'm so glad it's getting warmer. Sandals are much less stressful ;-)

I don't believe in Karma or anything but...

if you bathe your child at bedtime AND put fresh, clean sheets on their bed, even if they haven't wet the bed in like three months, they will that night. That's just the way it is!

So close we can taste it

Well, we are almost the owners of a home that will be new to us, bigger, with a huge yard. Tonight, Matt and I went to the inspection -- the inspector said it was one of the most solid houses he's seen in a while. This is actually the most time I've spent in the house since I first was inside it two weeks ago. I was a bit rushed that night (had to get home to teach a piano lesson) so it was nice to take time and really "absorb" the house.

So far, God has opened the doors. Please continue to pray with us that they will continue to be open if this is in His plan for us.

More to come!

Home... and off again!

Hello, friends. We are safely home from Texas. I was hoping to blog again while there, but we didn't have internet access the last few days of the trip. It's funny how dependent we get on something that was barely in exisitence 10 years ago! Anyway, the CR weekend at VLC went very well. I sang for church Sunday morning. It was the first time I've done a song that I had written as a "special". Dave made us some CD tracks to use befor we left. It's funny getting up and singing something you created - it's a little vulnerable. Honestly, it was like one of those dreams where you discover you're at school naked! Not to fear -- I did remember to dress that morning! Doing songs others have written feels "safer", but life's too short to take the safe road all of the time.

We moved on to Houston to see friends Mike and Shari May and Doug Stringer (I really must learn how to do links on my blog. You can see their profiles at our site www.chainreaction.be if you click on T.E.A.M.) We went to the Kemah boardwalk for food and fun carnival games (Micah won a basketball). Wednesday afternoon, we began the vacation part of the trip by heading to Galveston Island. It was the first legitimate "do nothing but relax" that we've had since the day we went to Disneyworld last February. We flew kites on the beach, collected shells, ate, shopped in the historic area, and, aside from a little sibling fuss-alry, had an all-around fabulous time. We arrived safely home last (Friday) night. I took tons of pictures that I'll share as soon as I can get them on my computer.

Off again. This time to nearby York, PA. I'm leading worship at Cityview Church and we're enjoying Easter dinner with the Kopps -- good people. More soon.

The stars at night are big and bright

Late Thursday, a little too late, a very tired family got off of a very crowded airplane and sauntered through Houston Hobby airport with a decent amount of wordly possessions in tow. They took the shuttle, rented their car and headed to a nearby hotel where they all subsequently passed out. That’s right, my friends – the Stevens have arrived in Texas.

Let me first tell you that this week has been a crazy one. Between packing, finishing up the CD and another thing I’ll tell you about, I’m running on fumes. I got about 10 total hours of sleep Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights combined. But we’re here and it’s all worth it.

This morning, we drove over three hours to Waco where our dear friends, Pastor Kevin and Becky Harrison, pastor a church. Some of you may know Pastor Kevin as the one who officiated Caleb’s funeral back in August. They are faithful friends who saw us thorough some of our darkest days. It is good to be with them again. We’re doing a Chain Reaction weekend here. The people are “getting it” – good stuff.

OK. Other stuff. Dave is doing the final mix on the CD. We had intended to send it out to be reproduced before we left, but didn’t feel we should rush it for the sake of getting it done a week sooner. Look for an early May release…

WE FOUND A HOUSE! It all happened very quickly. We saw it on Wednesday and made an offer that night, knowing anyone else would snatch it up as soon as they saw it. It is perfect for us and has a huge yard. Please pray that if it’s meant to be that everything will fall into place.

That’s all for now. Hope all of you are well. Stay tuned.

The Stevens Orchard...

Well, I did it. I finally crossed over. You may exhale.

I'm officially a mac girl. Yes, the Dell finally bit the dust. Last night, I became the proud owner of an iBook G4 and I LOVE IT! We got a good deal, too. They have "refreshed" laptops (I told Matt is sounds as if they've been to a spa) that are just as groovy as the brand new ones. We're a comlete mac family now. So I am online, fully-functioning and happy. You may hug me upon seeing me and share in my joy.

Also, I was up until about 2am touching up on the vocals for the CD with Dave. It is sounding pretty good. Matt finished the cover design last night, too and I love it. We're hoping to ship it off this week. Keep praying for us if you could.

It's been fun hearing from a lot of you that you are reading my ramblings. Drop me a comment if you could, or better yet, start your own blog, too. So there!

Almost there...

Hello, friends. Sorry I've not been blogging. I have been busy, busy, busy!

The most exciting thing right now is that, last night, we laid the last vocal track for the CD! Yea! Today, Dave and I will listen through everything to see where any corrections, additions, etc. need to take place. Then he and Matt mix everything and we ship it off to get duplicated. Yea again! I'm really pleased with the way everything is turning out. Hope you'll give it a listen when it's done.

March has been an incredibly long month at school. It's like the Wednesday of months. The kids are tired of school and don't want to be there, I'm tired of school and don't want to be there... But now we move into the final stretch -- one week of standardized testing, spring break, and then only seven more weeks. I'm thinking they'll go fast.

We leave for Texas on Thursday evening. We're going for mainly ministry reasons, but have some good friends to see while we're out there, too; Kevin and Becky Harrison, Doug Stringer, Mike and Shari May and maybe even Uncle Dan and Aunt Melinda! Good times.

Must go get ready for church. More later, gators...

Nothing Imparticular

I've been too busy this week to have any deep theological or philisophical thoughts. This week seemed LONG. Here's what rattling around in my brain if you are interested...

Today was the last day of the third quarter. I never realized what a "hump" the month of March is for teachers. Not a whole lot of days off, the kids have spring fever. Once we hit April, it's one week of Stanford testing, spring break (Texas here we come!) six more weeks and then my first year of teaching is officially over! I must admit, I will enjoy sleeping in for awhile. I'm a big fan. I have enjoyed investing in the lives of these eight kids, though. We get in some great conversations about God, life, etc. Plus I think they kinda like me (except when I'm mean).

Matt and Josh left for Huntsville, Alabama this morning. They are going for some connecting time with our great friends down there. I'm glad they're getting away. My ever faithful Jess is coming to keep me company. We MAY end up at the circus (I mean that literally).

My CD is moving along - finally. For those of you who aren't aware, I've been recording my first CD - something I've wanted to do forever. We're shooting for an Easter-ish release. I'm very excited. More to come on that... too tired right now to go into more detail :-)

I'm enjoying the phenomenon which is myspace.com. It's quite an entertaining way to connect with all kinds of people - funners.

That's it for this tired chick. Comment if something deeper is rolling around in your noggin. Love to all...

Oh, grow up!

We're studying the planets. Why must 6th grade boys snicker everytime I say "Uranus"?

Rough one

It's been a rough day. I've been particularly weepy.

-sigh-

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you that are still praying for our family. It means so very much. Keep it coming, if you don't mind :-)

The slow, painful death of a laptop computer...

Yes. My laptop is dying. It is very sad. You see, I love my computer very much. I've had it for about three or four years and It has been good to me. But now the whirring sound that my hard drive is making is telling me that the end is near. Fortunately, I have all the important stuff backed up (thanks, Mom - again). Also fortunately, we are computer junkies so I have not lost my ability to connect to the internet. SO I shall keep you updated on the fate of my Dell.

Love your computers, folks. They will not last forever.

Hail to the chief...

Micah was sitting at the kitchen counter Thursday evening having his snack. He was playing with this wooden flower thing I have, pretending it was a pencil and his napkin, a piece of paper. He told me he was writing letters. The first was to George Washington. I asked him to read it to me.

"Dear George Washington, I hope you are having fun with Caleb. I want to be just like you when I grow up."

"You want to be just like George Washington?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied. "I want to be the FIRST President of the United States!"

Theory on life...

You know, in the midst of all that life has held in the past years for us, I've come up with a theory. It goes as follows:

God doesn't owe us anything. He never said life would be easy or fun. Actually, He told us quite the opposite; that we would face trials of many kinds to help shape our character and develop perseverence. The only things He promised us were joy (which is a choice), wisdom, His strength when ours is not enough, that He would never have us face anything that we could not bear without His help, etc.

So each day happens. If it's a particularly good one -- bonus. If it's not, we'll make it.

Every day is a gift. You don't get any of them back.

That is what I've learned. I'm hoping to "master" this way of thinking to make my journey between the trees a little more bearable. It doesn't mean that I don't get sad or excited or frustrated. One of my biggest fears is walking around having a chip on my shoulder like someone owes me something. Our friend, Rob Stoppard, calls that the "victim mentality". We're not victims -- everything we experience in a result of our choice in one way or another.

..... I'm getting sidetracked.

Your thoughts....

(have a good weekend, by the way :-)

Book Reports

As I sit here and type, I am listening to my 6th grade students present their book reports. So far we've had Pollyanna, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Still to come, I believe are Huck Finn, Tom Sawyer, the Indian in the Cupboard and a couple of others. Good stuff. They are doing a fine job. They're pretty facinated on how Injun Joe killed the doctor right now.

So what favorite books do we have out there? I've read a few that I've about done backflips over. For the last year or so, I've been on a big Tedd Dekker kick. I LOVE his stuff - he's brilliant. I've read the Circle trilogy (Black, Red and White), Obsessed, Blink and my very VERY favorite is Thr3e. I have his new one, Showdown, is in my bag (thanks, Mom). I hope to start it this weekend. I also like stuff by Beverly Lewis, Terri Blackstock, Francine Rivers, Lori Wick, Dee Henderson, Ray Blackston... the list goes on. I generally stick to Christian fiction. I'm glad there are some really talented authors in this genre. Don't get me wrong - I've read some stuff that's pretty cheesy, too. But, in general, that's my preference.

How about y'all?

Valentine's Day pictures

Alright, friends. Welcome to the first installment of "Pictures with Katy". These are pictures from the holiday of LOOOOOVE!! AKA - St. Valentine's Day.



Esta es la Hummer que Josh construyo. For those of you not fluent in Spanish - this is the Hummer that Josh built. He did just about all of it all by his little ol' self. I helped with the front bumper and Matt helped with the luggage rack. Yes, we know it kind of resembles a school bus, but he insisted on making it yellow. It's actually a box for Valentines. He was awarded first prize in the contest for Valentine's boxes between all the 6th and 7th graders. Yea Josh!!



These are the pretty-ful flowers that my super groovy husband got for me. Yea Matt!



This is my baby daddy and me. hee hee. I am so thankful to have spent 15 Valentine's Days with this wonderful man.



How many of you got a Valentine's kiss like this? Jacob and me. Don't be jealous...



Micah and his best buddy.

Love, peace and happiness to all! XOXO

Pictures a'comin'...

Hey friends. I finally got some of the pictures off of my camera and onto my computer today so I will be sharing them soon. I've gotta fix all of the red eyes -- my boys all look like little demons!

We've been tossing the sickness around still this week. How very annoying. Jacob was vomitting this weekend and now Micah has been croupy and looks a little puny. Please pray we get all this stinkin' sickness out of our house! Argh!

I hope all of my blog-o-licious friend out there are doing well. Holla at yo' girl...

February 21st

Today was the final in what I consider to be three significant hurdles. I know people just walked around going about their normal Tuesday business. I felt as if I wanted to stop them and say, "Don't you realize what today is and how hard it is for me?" But the world went on as usual.

Today should have been a day with birthday cake, laser tag and presents. Today is the day my son, Caleb, would have turned 11 years old. In some ways, it was harder than the other two hurdles, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I guess it's because one's birthday is about just that person and no one else.

-sigh- I miss him so much I can hardly stand it sometimes.

Sometimes when I get really down, I imagine what my sweet son might be doing in heaven. I wonder if they celebrate birthdays and what an 11 year old does up there for fun. Matt, the boys and I have had some fun conversations about this. Josh thinks he's driving a Hummer and skateboarding with my grandma. I've decided he might be an activities director of sorts; planning scavenger hunts, bingo and the like.

So we went to the Baltimore aquarium today. At first, I was fighting depression so bad, I didn't want to go anywhere. Once we got there, though, it was great. I am finding that keeping the mind busy is a good way to cope with grief.

Thanks for sharing in my thoughts today. Our family can still use all the prayer we can get!



Joshua, Caleb and Tucker



Caleb being... Caleb



My boys

Does anyone else think my sister looks like Drew Barrymore?

I was watching "Never Been Kissed" this weekend -- we were snowed in so a lot of TV was watched. It's great movie. See it immediately if you have not already!

Anyway, I was watching the end where she was at prom with her hair up and was thinking how she reminds me of Jen(Our grandma always used to say that, too). So I was sitting there thinking may be it was just me when my 6-year-old said, "She looks like Aunt Jenny." So there. Validated by an observant 6-year-old.

Anyone agree (besides the obvious fact that my sister has more natural charm, beauty and radiance)?

Happy Valentine's Day

Hey everybody. Happy v-day. Hope you were able to celebrate those you love. Pictures of our festivities coming soon...

4

This is fun. Feel free to copy and do your own...

FOUR cities you've lived in
1. Colstrip, Montana
2. Marion, Ohio
3. Huntsville, Alabama
4. Parkville, Maryland

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1. SNL
2. Amazing Race
3. ER
4. Law and Order SVU

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. Myrtle Beach, SC
2. St. Louis, MO
3. Orlando, FL
4. Gatlinburg, TN

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. My yahoo mail
2. My blog
3. accuweather
4. myspace

FOUR OF YOUR ALL TIME FAVORITE RESTAURANTS:
1. Red Brick Station
2. Olive Garden
3. El Salto
4. Don Pablo's

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. crab dip
2. lasagna
3. chocolate chip cookies
4. BBQ pork

FOUR THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY:
1. packed three lunches
2. sang
3. prepared 6th graders for a history test
4. kissed my husband

FOUR THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT LIFE RIGHT NOW:
1. my family
2. the fact that my CD is getting done
3. my friends
4. my flannel sheets

FOUR THINGS THAT YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE WITHOUT:
1. my family
2. my dog
3. my palm pilot
4. the ability to sing

FOUR FAVORITE PIECES OF CLOTHING:
1. the jeans I bought in Lancaster
2. my beige coat
3. my hooded sweatshirts
4. my brown pants

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN DEPEND ON:
1. Matt
2. my sister
3. my parents
4. my Jess

FOUR FAVORITE BANDS/SINGERS:
1. Eva Cassidy
2. Switchfoot
3. anything '80's
4. Kelly Clarkson

FOUR THINGS YOU ALWAYS HAVE WITH YOU:
1. cell phone
2. iPod
3. my palm pilot
4. my crocheting

FOUR THINGS YOU ALWAYS DO AT WORK/SCHOOL:
1. hang with Jess and Lynn
2. put beans in a jar
3. grade stuff
4. go up and down the stairs

FOUR THINGS YOU MISS:
1. Caleb
2. being a teenager
3. Jimmy Fallon and Chris Kattan on SNL
4. sleeping in

Girlfriends and good food

Tonight was really cool. See, I have these girlfriends. They're all women I've known from being involved in MOPS (Mothers of PreScholers)over the course of the past six years. I haven't been able to go to the meetings anymore since I'm working now. Anyway, a group of us try to get together in the evenings when we can. We talk about everything and nothing. We eat and laugh and try to figure out how to be better moms, wives and women. It's quite wonderful.

In the wake of my family's tradgedy this summer, we talked a lot about my family and how we're doing and how this changes life and how we see it. I'm a talker so for me, tonight was very therapeutic. It amazes and impresses me that five busy women with their own stress and craziness would take the time and mental energy to be there for a friend and emotionally invest in a heart-wrenching topic.

I look forward to many more girls' nights out to come. Thank you Heidi, Ellen, McKenzie, Wendy and Kerri for being there. I am so blessed to know all of you.

Rain

Oh if only it were about 25 degrees colder - the ground would be covered in snow and I would most likely be at home in my jammies. but alas, it is raining -- and quite hard at that.

Why does the rain make me (and those around me) so sleepy? What is it about the precipitation that makes me want to curl up in my sweats, watch a good movie and do NOTHING!? What are your favorite rainy day movies?

Cuteness

I ran across this pic the other day and thought I'd share it. It's my youngest son, Jacob, and I at his friend's birthday party. We're in a fire truck, though you can't really tell that by the picture! (Isn't he cute?)



This is Jacob and birthday boy, Carson, at said party.

Happy New Year...

A very happy 2006 to everyone! I can definitely say that I am glad to put 2005 behind us - it is an understatement to say it was a rough year.

I'm going to try to get back on track with my blog. I mean, it is an injustice to keep all of this wisdom and wit inside my own head!

Hope your first 14 days of the year have been good. Here we roll....

Those crazy Christians...

OK. I'm a bit disturbed by a thread I've seen as I've watched TV this week. Thursday night on Law and Order CI, an abortion doctor was killed by a psycho Christian with inside information and good aim. The Lord apparently spoke to him and told him that he was saving countless lives by shooting a man in front of his 5-year-old daughter.

Last night, same show (rerun on USA), a religious mother builds a car bomb in an attempt to kill herself and her four children. She tells her son it is the hard road to heaven. She and her oldest son survive and she goes to jail.

So I stay up way to late and watch the Soup's year and review (I find Joel McHale very amusing, I admit). Of course among the top clips from 2005 we find the crazy Christian lady from Wife Swap who screams, commands everyone to leave in Jesus' name and attempts to tear up the check from the show (which she later decides to keep). She rants and raves from behind her tooth about how demonic and horrible everything is.

My question is this -- is this the way the majority of Christians are viewed by the general public or are these examples just picked because they make more interesting television?

Blogging absence...

This is a picture of my boys and Tucker last Christmas.

OK..I've not blogged in awhile. There have been several reasons. I have been very busy... I know, everyone has. This past week, though, I've had sick kids (one with a sinus infection; one with a sinus and double ear infections and double and walking pneumonia; the other generally OK but with a slight cough and attitude problems -- and last I checked, there is no medication for that!), a student recital for 11 of my piano/voice/flute students, a school Christmas program for which I was the drama director, Christmas shopping and tyring to get some meaningful academics in the heads of my 6th graders before they break for the holidays.

The other main reason is because I've been very up and down emotionally. Understandable. I suppose the blogging would be theraputic when I feel that way, but I just haven't been up to it. I miss Caleb terribly. I so have not been in the mood for the holidays this year. We don't even have our tree up yet, but Josh is going to put it up today. Micah and Jacob are looking forward to that. There have been some other highly stressful things as well that I will leave unmentioned

I am so thankful in the midst of everything for all of the friends and family that we have lifting us up in prayer. I know it makes such a huge difference. Even with all of the teachers I work with -- I've known all of them (except Jess) less than a year and they've all been so sweet.

We're headed to Ohio Christmas day. I am looking forward to hangin' with my homies.

Have a merry Christmas all...

Seven Things

Seven things I want to do before I die:
See "Phantom of the Opera" (on stage, not the movie)
Become fluent in Spanish
Take tap dancing lessons
Travel out of the country
Go on a cruise
Sing the National Anthem at a sporting event
Ride in a hot air balloon

Seven things I cannot do:
The splits
A cartwheel
Go to sleep with cold feet (had to steal that one, Jen)
Whistle through my fingers
Play the drums
Sleep on the floor (without an air mattress)
Shoot a 3-pointer

Seven things that attract me to my spouse:
His honesty
His ability to be laid back
His preaching
The way he smiles at me
The way he loves our boys
His support in everything I do
The way he makes me feel safe

Seven things I say most often:
See...
Whoopsie doodles
Absolutely
I love you
Crap
Oh snap
Cool

Seven books I love:
the Bible
Thr3e - Ted Dekker
Redeeming Love - Francine Rivers
Pretense - Lori Wick
the Olivia books - Ian Falconer
Mary Magdalene - Ellen Gunderson Traylor
Flabergasted - Ray Blackston

Seven Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
Napoleon Dynamite
the Princess Bride
Patch Adams
Remember the Titans
Funny Girl
Gone with the Wind
Monsters, Inc.

Alone?

My husband is watching an engaging PBS program called "Alone in the Wilderness". This incredibly resourceful man is building a cabin and completely living off of the land all by himself. It is a bit facinating.

My only question is, if he truly is "alone in the wilderness", who is holding the camera?

Movie Review - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

OK. So instead of my nap, we decided to take in a flick -- the much anticipated Chronicles of Narnia, the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

I think the strongest testament to this film is that my four-year-old sat through the entire 126 minutes of it. It was beautifully done and very engaging. I read the book to Joshua and Caleb a few years ago and have seen bits and pieces of the old BBC version (which is less than spectacular). I was amazed that this Disney version of the book closely matched the pictures in my mind while reading the book. Mr. Tumnus, for example, matches the illustration from the book (on the cover, I believe) and the chain of events matches the story exactly (as I remember anyway. I'll have to get your opinion on it, Jen). The talking animals and other special effects are wonderful as is the countryside where it was filmed. The spiritual message was not compromised and was surprisingly obvious including Aslan, the lion, using the words, "It is finished" and much talk about sacrifice and good and evil.

All five of us enjoyed it immensely. I hope you get a chance to see it soon -- especially on the big screen.

TTFN :-)

Snow Day!!

Well, it's 12:15 in the afternoon and I'm still in my pajamas...with a big ol' smile on my face! At approximately 5:45am, I saw those four beautiful words on the TV screen -- "Baltimore County Schools - Closed" Yesssssssss. This is my first official snow day. How absolutely divine.

I honestly am hoping to get some much needed housework done. Matt is going to take the boys for some much needed haircuts. Later, I even may take a much needed nap! Life is good :-)

The highest achivement in, perhaps, my entire life...

OK. I have just created a myspace account and subsequently, been added to Jess' top eight list! I know, I know. This is the stuff dreams are made of. I have to stop typing now because the tears may start to flow. So much emotion....

As soon as I figure out how to use myspace, I'll invite you to take a peek. Have a blessed night and PRAY HARD for SNOW tomorrow night!!! It's comin'!!!

That's all I have to say about that.