Holy Chocolate, Batman.

My cell phone isn't working properly.

This, my dear reader, is a most frustrating predicament.

I have a chocolate. I love my chocolate (not because I love real chocolate. That is totally unrelated). About two weeks ago, I made an emergency swing over to the Verizon store because my display had cracked inexplicably. Seriously. One minute I was at Bible study and it was working fine, then BAM - big, ugly cracks and lines across the display. So Verizon replaced it - for free. (Have I mentioned I love Verizon?) Anyway, I started to notice like a week later that my screen would go blank and I would have to turn my phone off and then on. Now, the screen jst randomly goes blank and sometimes turning it off and on works, sometimes it doesn't :-( This affects many functions for which I've come to rely heavily on my cell. Texting for instance. I'm a very big texter - especially because it allows me to keep in communication with my husband while he's in meetings (which is most of the time) and I'm in lessons (also - most of the time!). Not to mention it's also my alarm clock and storage for phone numbers.

AHHH! We leave for Ohio tomorrow and I really need my cell to be functional - but today I have very little time and no car. Tomorrow is not much different.

AHHH!

(Disclaimer - I know there is nothing you can do to help my plight. I just needed somewhere to vent. Thank you for your patronage)

Hair ye, hair ye!

I have to preface this by telling you my hair history. I grew up as the daughter of a beautician. Well into my 20's, I had never set foot in a hair establishment of any kind. When I strayed from my mother's hair care (primarily because of distance), I had beautician friends that would do my hair in their or my homes. Relocating geographically once again found my family and I at Great Clips. It's pretty simple - you go in, tell them what you want, they cut it, you pay and go home. I've also been coloring my own hair for the last few years -- buy the box, do the color (and mess up the bathroom) and, voila - new hair. I could never understand why any woman would have the need to go to a salon and spend all that time and money.

Today, however, my eyes were opened.

I sit here and type this with perhaps the most fabulous hair I've ever had. I spent three hours in a salon today belonging to a woman I had met not quite a year ago. This quaint, little salon pretty close to where I live.

I've never had anyone let me sit in the chair and talk about what I'd like to see for my hair, what I love and hate about color and highlights, what my goals are, etc. Melissa talked about my face shape, skin coloring, preferences and maintenance. She colored, washed, dried, highlighted and cut me to awesomeness. I was (and am) amazed at how much I love it. True, the frugal side of me is freaking out a tiny bit because I spend way more than I ever have to get anything like this done -- but strangely enough, it really does feel worth it. Is there a price to feeling gorgeous?

Go get your hair done already. Tell them Katy sent you...

Goodbye October

I can NOT let October slip by without blogging! I can't, I can't, I can't! It's not that I don't like blogging, dear friends -- I really quite enjoy it actually. But it's just that I get so busy (I know - everyone's busy -- but I've been SSOOOO busy!) and that "re-entry" blog is always so awkward. My dear friend, Louise, though has all been threatening to wring my neck if I don't blog soon, even encouraging no necessity for the re-entry blog.

So here I am -- sitting on my couch after a much-needed, long-awaited Friday afternoon of chizillin'. This week has been stressful to say the least. I'd rather not mess with details, but it's been stressful.

Not all stressful though. We had a lovely visit with my parents for the last two weekends (they vacationed in between) and Josh's 15th birthday last Saturday.

Speaking of Josh, he's adapted to high school and JV football well. His team is undefeated in the division and he's playing first-string offense and second-string defense. Pretty good accomplishment for a freshman! Though Eastern Tech is a fairly strict high school, Josh is really liking the higher standard to which the other students hold themselves.

Business for me has increased more than I ever thought possible. I have 45 piano, voice and flute students on my schedule right now which comes to about 24 hours a week. I'm also teaching music at the Christian school where I taught music last year and 6th grade a few years ago. It's cool. I have chapel and then three half-hour music classes with 3 year olds through 5th graders. All that adds up to a pretty busy week. I love what I do but it's busy all the same.

It's also quartet season again. We were asked to sing on both my sister's and my mom's Sweet Adeline chorus shows (in Nashville and Columbus, respectively) which were on two weekends pretty much in a row. Fun, fun but also busy just the same.

So here we are on the last day of October, huh. I've resolved this year to not complain about how fast time goes -- just enjoy each day.

That's all I have to say for now...

:-(

I was cleaning the mop and bucket yesterday -- using bleach because they were... well, they were nasty. I looked down at my favorite brown shorts when I was done and saw a big spot of bleach on them!! They are totally ruined and I am totally bummed.

I am going to go back to Ross today and see if I can find the same pair because they were my very favorites.

At least the mop is clean?

:-(

Thursday Thirteen #14

I woke up with great plans to do a long-awaited Thursday Thirteen... and also with a headache. So my T13 plans have been pushed into the evening.

I'll keep it light friends and neighbors...

Thirteen Splurgy, Consumable Things that I Love

1. Starbucks - Duh. Who doesn't like Starbucks. My standard is a grande non-fat mocha with no whip. Only 4 Weigh Watcher points!

2. Baltimore Tea and Coffee's Rainforest Crunch -- This is actually the splurge that saves money on the Starbucks splurge. My husband and I discovered this locally made treat a couple of years back, I think. It's pricier than just "regular" coffee, but, oh so good and oh so much cheaper than buying the number of cups you'd get out of one pound (and for every ten pounds, you get one free. So there!)

3. Clam Chowder in a bread bowl from the Boston Chowda Co. in Quincy Market, downtown Boston, MA -- I get it every time we're in Boston. So good!

4. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese -- yes, I know the store brands are cheaper, but they just don't taste the same.

5. Rita's -- If you don't have a Rita's in your town, kindly write your congressman or whomever immediately. I have been a big gelati fan for years, but have recently discovered the Blendini. Extreme yumminess! It has custard, Italian ice and either 'nilla wafers or oreos mixed in.

6. BBQ pulled pork -- I've tried it a lot of places and loved it most.

7. Crab pretzels -- you heard me right; crab ON a pretzel. Get your tail to Baltimore and try it!

8. French fries and dipping sauce from Pommes Frite in NYC -- it's not necessarily the fries, though they are delish in their charming paper cones, as much as the sauces. My personal favorite is Vietnamese pineapple. This dive is within walking distance of the church at which we stay when we go to NYC. It's become something I really anticipate when we go to the city!

9. Sushi -- Raw fish never sounded appealing until I actually tried it. We've got two places near our house that are really good. Sushi is also surprisingly affordable.

10. Paula's fruit dip -- my friend, Paula, makes this incredible fruit dip (usually for strawberries) out of marshmallow fluff and cream cheese. It's become a staple of our scrapbooking events!

11. Hazel's chocolate chip cookies - I don't know what she does, but my friend, Hazel's, cookies are amazing... and addictive. I could actually probably do a whole T13 on just yummy stuff Hazel makes!

12. Sweet potato fries -- I pretty much love anything with the words "sweet potato" in it.

13. Berger cookies -- if you're not from Baltimore, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about -- they're local fare. Picture if you will and round piece of shortbread-like cookie. Now dab a big glob of chocolate, frosting-like fudgy goodness. I know, right. Oh my...

Hungry?

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Sushi + Starbucks = awesome girls night!

Oh, I love my friends. I really do. We have SO much fun and, after tonight, I am more determined to make an effort to get together with my friends on a regular basis.

It started with Ami joining me after she got off of work to accompany an after school football pick-up of the oldest boy. She also got to witness the sacred vacuuming of the family van when she arrived. Lucky girl.

Anyway, we were joined by the charming Jess and headed to our first stop - sushi! We indulged in five sushi rolls. We actually kind of devoured them -- embarassingly so. They were SO good!

From there, on to Starbucks. We met up with Louise and sat outside and laughed, laughed, laughed. We marveled over many life-altering subjects such as, why do we call everything we order at Starbucks a "Starbucks"? Is it because we can't remember what we actually ordered by the time someone asks us? What's wrong with asking random strangers for their autograph? And my biggest question; why does every situation in life have to be tied to an episode of Friends?

If you don't have friends with whom you can just laugh and be stupid, I would highly recommend you find some right away.

"Stevens is a cool freshman"

I have been putting my children on big, yellow school busses for several years now. Yeah, I teared up a little two years ago when I sent my youngest off to kindergarten, but normally they (and I) are ready for school to start back up.

Today was different though...

Today I sent my child off to high school.

Yeah. High school.

I know I'm not the only parent in the United States that sent their oldest child off the high school for the first time this morning. It has happened for years past and will continue for years to come. It's just so... weird. I mean, I remember high school. It wasn't that long ago. (OK, maybe it was :-) I've been kind of building up to it all summer, but it's starting to hit me. He's in high school.

One thing we for which we are SO thankful is the high school that Josh has the privilege of attending. Eastern Technical High School is strictly a magnet school; there is no district -- it is by application and qualification only. Only one of every three students that applies is admitted and it is one of the best public high schools in the area. Students get to chose an area of study as well. Josh has chosen multimedia communications - computer stuff, video editing, etc. It's stuff he likes (and I figure you might as well study stuff you like since you have to be in high school anyway) What a blessing that Josh has this opportunity!

Actually, if I may brag on him for a second... Josh has been weightlifting a good part of the summer to get ready for football. Then, he's been doing two-a-days (8-11, 1-4) since August 16th. After 13 JV players were cut, Josh not only remained on the team, but also made 1st string offensive and 2nd string defensive.

He's also learning wonderful lessons about seniority and hierarchy. He's been with just freshman and sophomores (the JV team) during football preparation and has seen how cocky, mouthy freshman tend to get food thrown at them and mildly harassed. He's kept his mouth shut and worked hard. Slowly but surely, he's starting to make some friends, some of them sophomores. The other day, one sophomore was asking another why he was talking to Josh, a freshman. This kid's reply? "Stevens is a cool freshman."

Ha. Stevens is a cool freshman. Yesssss. I knew it!

More than two hours after Josh got on the bus, it was time for Micah and Jacob to do the same. They are starting fourth and second grade, respectively. They were both excited about starting school, though both said their tummies hurt a little!

So the house is quiet - just Tucker and me - and I'm not going to lie -- I'm loving it! My lesson schedule doesn't swing into full gear (about 20 hours) until next week (I'm in my last week of my August schedule -- only about a dozen or so lessons). I have an opportunity to get on top of things this week, organizationally speaking. I'm hoping to make the most of my time, while also snatching some time with friends here and there.

Ah. The change of seasons and times. It's good.

Let's call the whole thing off.

Growing up, I never cared much for tomatoes. In fact, I disliked them quite a bit.

Well, I just finished eating a tomato for lunch. Just a tomato. No salt or pepper. No nothing.

I think it all began to change when I realized that there are two kinds of tomatoes: the ones you buy in the grocery store and the ones you get out of friends' gardens. The first are watery and not appealing at all. The latter --- mmmmmm, buddy!

I probably discovered this years ago when we had our first garden in Ohio. Since coming to Baltimore, we haven't again gardened ourselves but fortunately have plenty of friends that do!

The tomato I just consumed was red and sweet and... well... quite wonderful.

Don't you just love late summer? Viva la tomatoes!!

Grrrrrrrr

If anyone actually did their chores without being asked or even did them thoroughly the first time, I think I would fall over in a dead faint.

Seriously.

How did it get to be mid-August?

Wow.

Hi.

Remember me?

I know I'm in big trouble with some of you who have been checking in regularly (thank you for doing that by the way) and finding nothing. Nevertheless, here I am! Da ta da!

As always, the easiest way to catch up is in bullets.. and backwards, I guess. So here I go:

• Matt and Josh left for church camp on Sunday. I'm excited for the experience for both of them -- Josh especially. I've been holding down the fort with visitors and a delicate balance between busyness and laziness! I started back to part-time lessons last week, all the while working hard to fill my fall schedule.
• My parents also left to go home on Sunday. Mom was here for a whole week and Dad drove in just this past Friday. We really had a nice time. And the weather, oh, the WEATHER has been GORGEOUS! I don't ever remember August being so non-humid and nice :-)
• While my mom was here, we observed the third anniversary of Caleb's homegoing. It was a weird day, as it always is in some form. We kept the day pretty loose and mentally observed our own individual ways. We did go out to lunch and then on to the cemetery with flowers. Sorry I didn't do my usual reflective and lengthy blog. It certainly doesn't change the fact that it's still a difficult day and I still miss my boy...
  
• The day my mom flew in, Matt and I arrived home from two full days away to celebrate our anniversary -- 16 years. We usually only go out for dinner or at the very most, away for one night and home the next morning. But this year, we had the time in our schedule and the responsibility of our 14-year-old to hold down the fort and were really able to get away. We drove to Wildwood, New Jersey (on the Jersey shore) and stayed in a charming little bed and breakfast. We had a whole little cottage to ourselves. It was really a couple of days like no other. We had no schedule or obligations, went to restaurants, walked along to boardwalk, drove around Wildwood and Cape May and, the highlight for me, walked on the beach in the moonlight (Matt even made a sand angel!). I can't even begin to explain how wonderfully relaxing it was and how badly we needed it!
• About 10 days prior to our little getaway, we returned home from a concentrated month of Chain Reaction. We started in late June with our intern, Jess, arriving from Massachusetts. A few days later, Matt's mom and sister, Allayne, arrived for a week's visit as well. We were busy in our training and preparation for our first week: Baltimore. On a personal level, I was particularly excited about the Baltimore week. Not only was there a group coming from Howard county and another from a Mennonite church in Ohio, but there was a group coming from Trinity Baptist Church in Marion, OH; the church in which I grew up. Three of their leaders were people I had literally known since I was a child; two I grew up with in church and the other was my best friend in elementary school who lived down the street! Also serving as an adult leader was a woman whom I met and became friends with at a Women of Faith event last year. Not only was the week wonderful in hanging out with these old friends, but the true highlight was in the group itself. They came with such an amazing attitude to serve! They worked so hard and were truly open at the same time for God to do things IN them as well as THROUGH them. The rest of the teams were incredible too. Matt and I felt it was one of the best Chain Reaction weeks we've had to date. From there, we went to New York City to be a part of Abounding Grace Church's annual outreach -- Jesus Loves You New York. We got the opportunity to work with teams from Maryland, Minnesota and Florida. It was a hot, but good week. From there, we headed to our last leg: Haverhill, MA. We kidnapped one of the young adults from NYC, Frankie, and took him with us. This was the first year we went to the Boston area with no real service assignment, which was strange for us. We took a few days to be with the beloved Yeo family and to celebrate Micah's 9th birthday. We explored some parts of the area to which we had not yet been including a New Hampshire beach, Portsmouth and Kittery, Maine. We headed home from there sans our intern and via New York to return Frankie. We drove through a pretty nasty rain storm to come home, but were so glad to be back!

That's it in a very large nutshell. If you read the whole thing, I'll buy you a Starbucks or something!

School starts a week from this coming Monday. Hard to believe, yet true. I think the boys are ready to go back. Josh is both nervous and excited about starting high school. He's been working hard to get ready for football -- weight training since early June and starting two-a-days this coming Saturday.

OK. I'm going to finish watching tonight's installment of the Olympics and head off to bed. It's good to be back among the blogging. Big blessings to you as always...

Rolling back my mental stability

They've really messed me up. I mean, you can't DO this. It has to be illegal or something.

We've lived in Baltimore for almost nine years now. In those nine years, I've been a regular, consistent patron of the White Marsh Walmart. I love it really. There's something very comforting about walking into a store and knowing roughly how much item will cost and exactly where to look for it. I mean, I could literally go into the store blindfolded and find what I'm looking for.

Until recently...

They

are

rearranging

my

WALMART!

I never knew something so simple could throw me off so much. I almost started crying the other day over the location of the bubbles. A woman asked me if I needed any help and I could only faintly ask, "Where did the toys go?"

I suppose I took for granted this simple stability. No matter what else was crazy in my life, I could walk into Walmart and still find paper towels in aisle 12.

Well, not anymore, my friend. Not anymore.

Additionally, I can't resist the urge to tell whomever I'm with what used to be in each location. I point to bedsheets and report, "This is where crafts used to be" or, "The paint chips were on this wall, not that one." And to make matters worse, they're not done yet so some things are in temporary locations so it's not even worth committing them to memory yet.

I feel... violated somehow.

Will I have an improved, more efficient Walmart when it' s all over? Probably.

Will I get used to it?

Eh.

What the... ?!

So I sit down to chill after a long, wonderful week of day camp (more on that later), thrilled to soak in the first episode of a brand new season of Shear Genius.

One, small question...

What in the WORLD happened to Jaclyn Smith's face?

Seriously.

It's the middle of June...

... and I still have flannel snowman sheets on our bed.

Don't hate. They're comfy.

Shopping: a memoir

If you know me at all you know that I'm a person who doesn't like to spend more money than necessary. One could say that I'm cheap (thought that term is not my favorite because the words "and easy" could follow, giving the entirely wrong connotation) though I prefer the term "frugal". In any event, this information will make the following account more interesting and, I daresay, entertaining.

For Christmas this past year, I received a gift card from one of my piano/voice students and her mother. Now, I like gift cards. They make me feel... I don't know... powerful. I actually tend to hold on to them for longer periods of time than most would -- six months to a year on average. Weird, huh. There's just something about knowing I have this nice, designated money to spend that I enjoy.

OK. Back to my story. So I've had this gift card for awhile and, in a rare event, I found myself at the mall (buying a birthday present for my sister) and realized that this particular store (at which I had never shopped before - that's an important detail) was at said mall. I thought I'd stop in and make good on the gift card that had found itself a comfortable residence in my wallet for the past six months.

I was struck first by how expensive everything was. But, fortunately, it was a buy one, get one half off dealio so I became determined to stretch my $25 to buy not one, but TWO items. Oh, yes. I was walking out of there with two new garments or... well, I don't know what.

I ended up with two plain v-neck t-shirty type tops, one navy and one khaki -- nice solid staples to my wardrobe (I tend toward solid and practical -- something I should probably look into changing). I managed, without too terribly much thought, to spend exactly $.35 less than my gift card. Ha!

Anyway, when I got home, certain details from the purchase started to stand out to me. First of all, my shirts were in not a shopping bag, but more of a gift bag. And, get this, they were wrapped up in tissue paper and taped shut with a sticker bearing the name of the store. A sticker! In my world, stickers are for completed piano pieces by eight-year-olds, not clothing purchases. Oh, and there's one more part. I noticed a little envelope in the bag (also proudly bearing the store's name) that I hadn't previously noticed. What could it be? A present? Another gift card? No. It was my receipt! In a little envelope like a present. I had never seen anything like that in my life...

Now, allow me to compare that to my usual shopping experience. I'm a fan of Goodwill -- there's a fabulous one mere miles from our house. And on the last Saturday of the month, something magical happens. That's right, my friends. The last Saturday of the month is SUPER Saturday. The pool of already tantalizing pre-used clothing is an additional 50% off.

I'll give you a moment.

At Goodwill, I have to be in the mood for digging (which I usually am) and flip through various clothes sorted by color, not size -- all for bargain umbrella prices. If I'm looking at tops, I don't need price tags. I know they're all $3. When I check out, my treasures go into a plastic bag with the words "Thank You" in triplicate down the side of my bag. No tissue, no sticker, no envelope.

Interesting.

Which method do I prefer? I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the adrenaline from the hunt and the "post-bargain high" are pretty much my shopping life-blood. Whether it's genetic (I happen to be the spawn of an amazing bargain shopper) or a learned skill, Goodwill is a little more my speed. BUT, it is nice to be pampered once in awhile -- to feel like your selection time and purchase choice were celebrated is a fun change.

Of course, I can't fully appreciate that right now. I'm still little high off of finding Play Doh, two packs for $3 today...

Let's try this again

Birthday video from my boyz...

I'd forgotten how much I like summer

The last few days have really been wonderful -- not because of any great event but more because of the lack of one. I'd forgotten how nice it is to have nothing on the schedule. Since the boys got off of school Wednesday, I've been letting them stay up late, sleep in, watch movies, run around like crazy people, etc. I woke up this morning to a quiet house and no place to be and it was... bliss! I know it's not going to last forever. In fact, I plan Monday on getting the boys on their summer schedule, bed times, chores and those wonderful workbooks I always make them do over the summer. But for now, Jacob is watching TV, Josh and Micah are still sleeping, Matt is running errands and I'm sitting here blogging, listening to a neighborhood lawnmower and smelling the brewing coffee in the kitchen and getting ready to make banana pancakes. See? Bliss.

Last night, we ate outside (as we do very often in the summer). After dinner, the boys ran around and chased lightening bugs and rode the wagon down the hill. Matt and I just sat there and talked. I said, "Wouldn't it be great if we could just freeze this night and save it? It's perfect."

His response, "Not really. The dog is drooling on my foot."

Can't blame me for trying!

I hope you're enjoying a few lazy days of summer yourself!

Is it blogger or just me?

Argh! Josh made me this awesome video for my birthday and put it on YouTube. I'm trying to embed it in my blog, but every time I do, it freezes my whole blog up (like force quit Firefox freezes).

Again I say, argh!!

I'm going to work on it. It's really cute. You should see it...

Whew!

Notice anything different? Hmmm? Do I look any older? Yeah, yesterday was the ol' birthday. It was really quite a wonderful day. The was a lot of busyness (more about that in a second) and lots of people and I'm all about people.

So, yeah, yesterday. Matt preached at our church and did a wonderful job. He told our story and really used it to encourage people to trust God despite their circumstances. It was really great -- probably one of the best messages I've ever heard him preach.

We went straight from church, grabbed a bite at Wendy's, and Matt and the boys dropped me off at my next destination -- the church where I was having my semi-annual student recital. I was both nervous and excited about the recital. One of the main reasons for my nervousness was that I had almost twice as many students participating as I normally do -- 23 to be exact. I think the most I'd had up to this point was 13. I was excited about the variety we were offering in the program. When it was all said and done, everything went very well. We had our share of mistakes, forgotten words, etc. but that's to be expected.

Then we went to Don Pablo's with our friends. I got to wear a turquoise sombrero where the yelled birthday greetings at me. Matt and the boys got my a new iPod. Good birthday. I'm blessed.

I am so ready for life to slow down! Lessons and meetings and school stuff... AHHH! It has seriously been crazy. But this week, this week my friends -- school is done on Wednesday, I have my last piano/voice lesson until August on Thursday, our last youth group meeting is on Thursday... everything is coming to a blissful halt. Don't get me wrong, I love what I get to do for a living but I am ready for a break. I'm looking forward to spending more time with the boys and, honestly, I have had NO time to get this house organized. I am really hoping to do that, too before Chain Reaction kicks into gear this summer.

Oh yeah, and I may actually have time to BLOG once in awhile!

Tragedy

My heart is so heavy for the family of Steven Curtis Chapman this morning as I heard the news of the accidental death of their five-year-old daughter.

I want badly to reach out to them somehow, but I don't know how. It's one of those situations where I can truly understand how they feel today. I'm familiar with the pain that lingers through the next days, weeks and years. How you wake up and the pain is still there. How you still run across pieces of laundry months later or other simple household papers that send you into tears. I want to tell and show then that they'll still be walking and breathing two and a half years from now. There will still be that hole, but God will help make it hurt a little less. Or a little more sometimes. Or a little different...

I've been praying particularly hard for their teenage son who was driving the car. They have layers of healing ahead, but I know God is able to be there every step of the way. I am praying for His supernatural presence and hand in their lives today.

I'm praying for a way to contact them somehow. I don't know if they need to hear from a perfect stranger right now, but... I don't know. I just want to make contact somehow.

Once again, friends, hold life carefully. It is precious and merely a grain of sand.

Feliz Cumpleanos

Today is Jacob's birthday. He is seven.

He is my baby and I can't believe he's that old.

We kept him home this morning, cancelled our meetings and took him out for breakfast. He had French toast. Then, they let him pick a free dessert. He subsequently ate an entire banana split.

Then we went and played miniature golf - just the three of us (Jacob rarely gets Matt and I all to himself).

It was very fun. I sincerely hope he remembers it forever....

My love/hate relationship with Mother's Day

So yesterday was Mother's Day.

First off, I love my mom. She's really quite cool. And besides just our genetic connection, we share a lot of common interests; music, crochet, shopping, eBay, Arbonne, DDR, chick flicks, reading (we like a lot of the same authors), etc. Plus, I have a great deal of admiration for her in the resilience department. She was a single mom for a short period of time with two baby girls, just over a year apart. As is the natural progression, I appreciate her more in my own motherhood as time progresses. So my mom is pretty superior and the right mom for me.

I was also inundated with homemade cards, flowers and other Mother's Day paraphernalia yesterday. We had to drop Matt off early at church because he had to play on the worship team so the boys were to "take me" out to breakfast (with me driving, of course). We tried Cracker Barrell first, but, as you might imagine, the line was down the sidewalk. Then Waffle House, but that looked equally crowded. So we ended up at Dunkin Donuts, which was quite fine with me, actually. As we went through the drive-through, Josh pulled out a handful of cash. My response was, "Oh, look at how cute you are with your little money!" LOL.

Overall, the boys and Matt were wonderful with the day, offering to do things and asking what else I wanted. I so appreciate them and feel very blessed.

But then there's...

The first year after Caleb died, we made it through the big firsts - Thanksgiving and Christmas, his birthday - and in my mind, I was home free. Well, Mother's Day snuck up and "sucker punched" me. It hit me so very hard. So I guess I've been on the defense a bit since then.

Why does it have to be that my least favorite question now is, "How many children do you have?" I never minded it before. I would proudly brag about my four boys and tell about how crazy and loud it was, all with a smile on my face. Now I have to decide, do I tell them? Do I share about Cub and totally put a damper on this conversation? Or do I just offer "three" and try to move on to something else?

It's been almost three years. I still feel the void. I'll always feel the void. My friend, Bethany, just said to me the other day that when she sees our family, she still notices that someone is missing.

It's almost harder now that life has gone on so much longer without him. We've fallen into such a new normal that it's hard to remember the old one. My heart is filled with gratitude for what we have and what God has done, but there will always be that missing piece.

When I was a kid, I couldn't understand why some people didn't enjoy holidays -- why holidays made them sad. I think we all understand that more as we get older. And I always WANT to find the positive and the reasons to rejoice, but it also heps me to be able and "allowed" to work further into this grieving process.

As a family, we move on to focus on Jacob, our baby, turning seven this week. Seven! There's miniature golf in our near future by his choice and we're looking forward to celebrating a fresh year of growth for him.

As always, I wish God's greatest blessings for you! :-)

Quote of the day...

My allergy-ridden husband, upon getting in the car after being outside for awhile:

"The back of my throat feels like I've been sucking on a flower."

Nice, huh.

I'm tired, BUT...

...I finally finished scrapping all of our New Orleans pics tonight and they look fabulous

and Paula was acting silly, which subsequently made me laugh

and it was Lynn's birthday so we had ice cream cake

and Amber came and helped me think straight (which was quite necessary this evening)



Yea, Scrappy Chicks!!

Bow wow wow, yippee yo yippee yea.

heyyyyy.....

This is Tucker. I thought I'd hijack my mommy's blog for a minute to tell you what's on my mind. I know... it's not everyday you read a blog from a dog. And, considering I don't have opposable thumbs, the fact that I'm typing this at all is pretty amazing. But, hey, that's how I roll...

Anyway, I'm really stressed out about something. See, we have this couch. It's... well, it's perfect. It's all soft and saggy and smells divine. It is where I sleep (pretty much all day) and chill. Dogs are fond of chilling, you know.

Well, I found out that on Friday THEY'RE TAKING MY COUCH AWAY! They got some "new" couch. Pooh. The one we have now is perfectly fine.

So Mommy brought home this big pillow/bed thingy that I'm supposed to lay on now. It's OK, I guess. It's soft, but it doesn't smell like anything yet.

Man. If dogs ruled the world, things would be a lot different.

Made you look...

I realized today, upon catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror at Great Clips, that I looked pale. Anemic actually.

That may be due to the fact that my diet consisted largely of coffee and diet Coke today.

Possible.

I need to work on my nutritional intake.

Ich bin gesegnet

If you were to come by my house today (which you are welcome to do anytime, by the way, unless you are a stalker in which case I'd prefer you stay away and, actually, stop reading my blog all together because stalking is weird..... Where was I? Never mind. I'll start over.

If you were to come by my house today, you would see the first true sign of warmer weather. This morning after getting the monkeys off to school, I hung he first load of the season on the line outside. Now, if you're a frequent reader, you may remember that I'm quite enamored with my clothesline. I love hanging things on it. It makes me feel all efficient and earthy and domestic and.. OK a little Amish. In any event, there are clothes drying on my line and I'm happy.

So the "real" quartet competition was last weekend in KY. How'd we do? Thanks for asking. we got 4th place out of 24 or so quartets. Not bad for our first time out. More importantly, we had a great time which included lots of laughs and very little sleep. We're going to go for it again next year with the hopes of winning and getting the chance to compete at International in Nashville in the fall of 2009.

Chattanooga was extremely fun as well. No pressure of competition but lots of good experience on stage. My sister's chorus (Tune Town Show Chorus) are a HOOT and did very well in the chorus competition, finishing first. Yeah, Tune Town! Also, big congrats to the two Tune Town quartets, Fiddlestix and Last Minute, which finished first and second respectively.

In between the two competitions, I came home, worked, had my MOPS friends over for board games, had a Saturday scrapbook day at my house, lead worship at Gospel Tabernacle and worked some more (then left for the second weekend). So once again, life is good and full and I am blessed (but tired!).

Tonight, Matt and I are taking 27 of our youth group kids along with about five other adults to Acquire the Fire downtown. I'm looking forward to it, having not been to an ATF since I was pregnant with Jacob. So I shouldn't even really be sitting here typing because I have a decent punch list of things to do before 3:00, but alas, I've missed blogging.

Please keep my aunt in your prayers. She's battling breast cancer. The scenarios are looking good, but she still has a long road ahead.

I hope the weather is as gorgeous wherever you are as it is here. I hope you take some time to think about how much God has blessed you today, despite your circumstances. I'll pop back on here when I can...

Be blessed! :-)

Won't you choo choo me home...

Hey. I'm in Nashville. Quite the jet setter, you know.

This weekend, our quartet, Kindred Sound, is singing in the region 23 competition as mic testers and for evaluation only. In layman's terms, this is our practice competition. We compete for realsies in Covington, KY in two weeks. I'm very excited because I need the practice in front of an audience (being the only Sweet Adeline's novice in the quartet). We rehearsed for hours yesterday and are sounding pretty good.

OK. That's it for now. We're leaving my sister's in NashVegas and driving to Chattanooga so I have to scoot...

Peace out.

A traditional (well, kind of) Easter

So yesterday was Easter.

Happy Easter.

Even when it's just the four of us for Christmas and Easter, we still like to do a big meal. My favorite part of Easter dinner is definitely the ham. Not the honey, pre-cut ones. Just a plain, simple ham. It tastes better in big chunks. Along with that, I made my mom's potato casserole - hash brown potatoes, cream of chicken soup, sour cream, cheddar cheese -- YUM! It's not new to make this dish. But as I was thinking about dessert, I suddenly had the longing for something I hadn't had in a long time -- my Aunt Melinda's lemon hole cake. Fortunately, I happened to have the recipe in an old write-your-own cookbook that my grandma had given me right before I got married (over 15 years ago). It's a good thing too because I checked the internet for reference and couldn't find quite the same recipe. So I happily made my list (I was only missing three things) and ran to the grocery store while the ham and potatoes finished their last 30 minutes in the oven, complete with a phone call to my mom to confirm the type of baking pan I should use.

Some two hours later after my tummy was WAY too full. I reflected on the meal itself and I realized something. Growing up close to extended family, meals had certain familiar tastes and traditions; the aforementioned lemon hole cake and potato casserole, Grandma's cherry pies, rolls, Mom's waldorf salad. My kids don't have the luxury of growing up close to grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins like I did. I realized, though, that I want to be a little more intentional about certain foods for certain meals. I want my kids to associate the memories of a holiday with a specific food. In other words, I can see lemon hole cake becoming a staple of Easters to come!

I don't think I've ever shared a recipe on my blog before, but I feel it's my duty to help immortalize Aunt Melinda's lemon hole cake (she now lives in Texas and I'm curious to find out when the last time was that she made one). Warning: it's delicious and I'm sure not kind to the hips, but enjoy anyway!

Aunt Melinda's Lemon Hole Cake

Cake:
1 pkg. lemon cake mix (like Duncan Hines Lemon Supreme)
1 pkg. lemon instant pudding
4 eggs
3/4 cup oil (I used vegetable)
3/4 cup water

Topping:
1/2 cup orange juice
2 cups powdered sugar
3 tbsp. oil

Put all cake ingredients in large bowl and mix 10 minutes (I don't think I mixed it quite that long). Bake according to directions on the box. When done, remove form oven and poke holes all over the top. Don't remove from pan. Mix topping. While hot, pour on the topping mixture.

Enjoy!

Thursday Thirteen #13

Though I feel all this posting tonight is a tad narcissistic, I wanted to get my T13 in for once. So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, cats and dogs, in honor of the first day of spring I give you (drumroll)...

Thirteen Things I look forward to with the beginning of spring

1. Rita's actually reopened today and gave out free Italian ices to celebrate. I tried one of the new flavors -- birthday cake. Yum!

2. Here comes the sun - as much as I HATED giving back that hour last weekend, the extra daylight is nice.

3. It's almost clothesline time -- I love hanging my laundry on the clothesline and once this weather settles about 20 degrees warmer, I'm all set.

4. My azalea bushes will be blooming soon and they're SO pretty.

5. Spring break - I know I already mentioned this in my previous post. Sleeping in and staying in jammies longer is quite appealing.

6. Is it seriously ever going to get warmer? I think it might.

7. This has absolutely nothing to do with spring, but the writer's strike is finally over and the Office will be new in three weeks!

8. This is the only time of year you can buy Cadbury Cream Eggs.

9. We're getting closer to the Stevens birthday rush (everybody but Josh is late April through July)

10. Isn't the Easter Bunny coming in a couple of days?

11. I'm ready for green grass, sunshine and blue sky

12. Dinner preparation starts to move outside

13. Do I really need a reason? Spring rocks!

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Multitasking = blogging and watching Celebrity Apprentice

Hi.

It's me.

Yeah, I know.

I'm back though, so get off my case :-)

Wow. Life has been crazy and full and... good. I'm not even sure where to start.

This has been the first year since Caleb died that I didn't blog on his birthday (2/21). He would have been 13 this year which is really hard to believe. The day itself was really hard; more so than I thought it would be. That's all I have to say about that for now.

Business has been booming. Not only have new students been coming out of the proverbial woodwork, but I've gotten another opportunity as well. The school where I used to teach, TCS, lost their music teacher and they offered the position to me. Fortunately, it fit into my schedule nicely so I took it. I've been doing it since the end of February and we just actually put on our Easter program last night. Considering how thrown together it felt, I think it went pretty well. Anyway between lessons and this class, I'm working about 30 hours in three days each week. It's busy and tiring but good. I love what I do so I can't complain.

This past Friday, Matt, Josh and I flew to New Orleans. My mom graciously came to Baltimore to stay with the monkeys (thanks again, Mom). We were a part of a weekend in which church leaders and pastors from the NOLA area came together to pray and get mobilized for their city. There were people there from Texas, Tennessee, other parts of Louisiana and even Massachusetts as well. It was really a great weekend. Sunday, we got to spend some time doing more "touristy" things - the highlight being eating beignets and drinking cafe au laits at Cafe DuMonde! I flew home Monday, but Matt and Joshy stayed to continue to work. I'll pick them up tomorrow.

What's next? Well, spring break officially began after school today. The boys and I are going to the MOPS easter egg hunt tomorrow, the airport and then our church's Good Friday experience. Sunday is Easter, of course. Wednesday, I leave for Chattanooga via Nashville to compete for the first time with our quartet. This one is evaluation only. Our "real" competition is two weeks later in Covington, KY.

So that's the skinny for now. I've really missed blogging and want to find a way to make time for it. If that doesn't work, I have a ghost writer standing by ready to go!

Have a blessed Easter.

Peace out.

Able to leap vomit in a single bound...

I was explaining to Matt last night that mommies have special powers - like super immunity. It gives us the ability to look in the face of fever and vomit and not become sick ourselves.

I have been employing mine as of late. Both of the younger set have been out of commission since Saturday. Micah holds the record for the highest temperature so far - 103 last night. They seem to be on the mend, though. I think Jacob may actually be able to go back to school tomorrow - Mic's probably out until Thursday.

So today I get to do piano lessons and sick duty at the same time. That should be interesting...

My life in bullets...

Life is...

Full. Busy. Good.

If you're interested, here's a glimpse, in no particular order, of what's been going on:

• I just got back from Ohio. We went to Sweet Adeline's Region 4 Winter Warmup. Though it was a bit overwhelming to not know anyone beside our quartet (my mom, her best friend and my sister) and a few faces from my mom's chorus, I feel like I really learned a lot about barbershop singing and even picked up some new warm ups and techniques for my voice students.
  

• I got very little sleep over said weekend so I feel like a bit of a zombie today

• Debbie Connelly is awesome. If you knew who she was, you'd be impressed that I had dinner with her. OK... I'll tell you. Debbie is the lead of "the BUZZ", the 2005 Queens of Harmony for Sweet Adelines International. They are hands down the best women's barbershop quartet ever. I already knew she had an incredible voice, but dinner with her allowed me to get to know her. She's a nut (like me) but an incredibly sweet and sensitive person at the same time. My sister and I had a wonderful time having dinner with her. Our quartet got to coach with her, too.

• We had about three inches of snow last Thursday. The boys and I had a blast. More on that later...

• I made a scrapbook for my sister for Christmas, but I just gave it to her this weekend. She LOVED it which subsequently made me happy because I worked really hard on it and it was kind of awesome.

• We're dog sitting for my BFF while she's out of town. Her dog is small and cute and I call her Claire Huxtable, though that is not her name.

• My husband leaves for New Orleans tomorrow to do some preliminary work on an event that's coming up in March. I will miss him, but will keep plenty busy while he is gone.

• I had a girls night out/MOPS reunion at my friend Heidi's house a couple of weeks ago. I got to see a lot of friends I haven't seen in awhile and it was wonderful We had so much fun.

That's it for now. I have to get ready for lessons. More later... I promise.

Loss - part 2

There is something about devastating loss that makes my stomach hurt.

Today, my mind is on an 8-year-old boy who is returning to school after losing his mother, three sisters and step-sister in a horrible car accident. This little boy goes to the same elementary school as my two youngest kids; he's actually a friend of my 8-year-old.

What's been haunting me even more is the image described to me by my youngest son yesterday. He told me that kids have been writing sad notes and pictures and putting them on the locker of this boy's younger sister (a second-grader) who was one of the victims of the accident. I've seen her picture and can't seem to get her adorable little, braided-hair smiling face out of my mind.

Both of my son's had substitutes yesterday because their teachers were attending the funeral. Teacher's shouldn't have to attend funerals! They should only be visited by students who have gone on the middle school and want to stop in to say hello.

Despite God's sovereignty and goodness of nature, nothing seems fair about a child dying. Nothing. Trust me -- I've explored probably every aspect of it over and over again. Everything about childhood is filled with innocence and goodness. When they're just "gone", it perverts the very nature of the whole thing.

Obviously, incidents like this bring me back very close to our own loss. I can't help it. And I don't know if that will ever change. There are times that fear wants to overtake me and I feel like life is an egg that I'm carrying around, hoping it won't roll off of my hand and break. Sometimes I'm fine. Honestly, I'm fine more often than I'm not, but when it hits hard, it hurts.

Jut please do me a favor and pray for this little boy. He has a long road ahead of him.

Update on my dad

Hey! Thanks for all of the follow up questions and prayers for my dad. He saw the doctor on Friday. The good news is that he doesn't have to have surgery. The doctor felt that, with my dad's age and occupation in consideration, it simply wasn't the best option. The bicep will never completely be what it was, but with time and physical therapy, he should be just fine. I talked to him today and he sounds pretty good -- optimistic and all that.

Thanks for keep him in mind. He's a pretty cool guy! :-)

Thursday Thirteen #12

I thought I would follow my dear friend, Ami's, lead (and by that I mean totally steal her idea) and make my T13 do double duty this week.

Thirteen Things I'd Like to Improve in 2008

1. Spend some time really focusing on God every day -- and it may look like something different each day. Something to keep my focus where it needs to be.

2. Exercise at least four times a week -- I started yoga on my OnDemand this week. It's only 10 minutes a day but a good place to start I figure (and I'm already feeling it!). Considering I lost over 30 pounds last year from just dieting, the exercise definitely can't hurt.

3. Lose those last 10-15 pounds -- I'll start with ten and then see how the jeans are fitting. I figure I'll want to go ahead and do the last five, but we'll see.

4. Get to bed earlier -- tough one. I'm such a night owl. I'm shooting for 11pm every night, though I've decided to let myself stay up later than that one random night each week (obviously, tonight's that night!).

5. Read to and with the boys more -- Micah has to do 25 minutes each night for school and Jacob is supposed to read 15 books each month. I love to do it, but it's so hard to make the time. If I can just remember they will only be this little for so long...

6. Stick to my housework list -- I have everything broken down into a miraculous plan - if only I can stick to it! In theory, the whole house gets cleaned each week. I open for tweaking if my plan doesn't work.

7. Read at least 12 books this year -- I'm going to shoot for more non-fiction this year.

8. Spend some time on craft projects (at a minimum) once a week -- my craft room is almost completely organized and set up. I miss sewing. And along those lines...

9. Finish 40 scrapbook pages -- If Scrappy Chicks continues to get together once a month like we've been doing, that's only 3-4 pages per month. This only counts for our family album. Special things like gifts don't count. I can't wait!

10. Master a few piano pieces that are currently out of my league -- how can I expect my students to advance if I don't push my self?

11. Play board games with my kids more; let's shoot for twice a month -- they're getting to an age where they really love board games (Mic and Jay) but aren't too cool for them yet (Josh).

12. Get together with my girlfriends more -- we have a MOPS reunion scheduled for next weekend. How timely!

13. Go on a date with my husband at least once a month -- 17 years of dating and still loving it!

Nothing earth shattering here, but I feel like these are attainable and will be good for the health of me AND my family.

What do you want to do this year?

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Please pray for my dad...

I talked to my mom this morning and she said that my dad tore his bicep muscle yesterday (or the day before, or something like that). He's in a sling and may have to have surgery. He's not in too much pain as long as he doesn't straighten his arm. Please keep him in your prayers, though. He's still going to work, though I'm not sure how he's going to play the organ on Sunday!


Thanks!

It's going to be worth it...

Happy New Year! I hope your celebration was a good one. We had a party, about which I will blog later...

I was doing my devotions this morning (and especially enjoying a quiet house in almost two weeks!). I started by praying and thinking through the whole new year thing. I find myself asking God how things like this are observed in heaven. My thoughts have been more heaven-focused in the last two and a half years because of Caleb being there. I wondered if they watch all of the fireworks from Sidney to Los Angeles, though I'm sure they don't compare with anything in heaven itself. In any event, it still helps me to imagine celebrations and birthday parties for Jesus and the like. And there's Caleb with a grand spot at the banquet table right between Grandma Dot and George Washington!

Anyway, I prayed about some more things going on in our life, especially filled with gratitude for some recent open doors. I decided to do a devotional out of the Women of Faith Bible that my mom got me for Christmas (I've enjoyed their ministry, especially after attending a conference in Columbus last April and meeting cool people like Michelle ;-). The devotional I read today was by Patsy Clairmont and was titled Freedom from Perfectionism -- right up my alley. But the devotional held something for me that I wasn't expecting. The following is a passage from said devotional:

There's something about loss that has the potential to take us by the hand and help us find a way to survive outside the context of our pain.

I have found that my mistakes often lead to a clearer resolve, my losses often bulldoze a path to untapped courage, and my limitations can teach internal liberty by God's grace.

Not only do I want to make the mistakes in my life to mess with my perfectionism so that God can show Himself in my imperfection, but I am hoping that I may also learn -- no, embrace -- this year that, through my family's loss, God can give us strength that we never knew we had. Would I give up what we've gone through to not have that strength? You'd better believe it. But that was not God's plan. His plan is to use our painful loss to glorify Himself and manifest the strength in us that we didn't even know we could possess. At first, I would say to God, "I think you've got the wrong person. I don't think I can make it through this." But God knew from the beginning what he was doing. I still wouldn't chose this for myself, but for some reason God did.

I realized a while back that everyone has their "one big thing" with which they're struggling. It may not be the loss of a child like mine is, but it's just as big to you as that is to me. It may be a disappointment, divorce, job loss, broken relationship -- in any event, there's loss. Maybe God wants to use that loss to give you strength you didn't know you could have, too.

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Worth It All - Rita Springer

I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this