Merry Christmas!

Hello, everyone. I hope all of you out there had a wonderful day. We enjoyed a nice (relatively) quiet day at home and all enjoyed being together and relaxing.

I will blog more about my Christmas thoughts later.

The following is a video of my son, Caleb, and I singing "Star of Bethlehem" together at church back in December of 2002. He was 7 years old and did such a great job.



I sincerely pray all of you reading had a terrific day. Love to all...

The electrician is here!

Do you know what that means?

Well, I will tell you.

It means that, after six months, the lovely, new dishwasher that has been sitting in my kitchen will finally WORK!

That, my friends, is the best Christmas gift.

Sunrise and other things

Every morning, our son, Joshua, has to get up at 6:30am for school.

Yuck.

I know a lot of people all over the world get up a heck of a lot earlier but that is not my preference. I am NOT a morning person, nor have I ever been, nor will I probably ever be. Fortunately, I married a compassionate man who I willing to share the parental load. We take turns getting up with the boy while the other gets an extra hour or so of sleep.

The couch in the front room has become the nesting place while we wait for Josh to get himself in gear. The coolest part is that God knew this set-up would be taking place and arranged for a beautiful view of the sunrise while we wait. How very sweet of him. Here are some shots of this morning's beauty:







Nothing terribly earth-shattering, but I enjoyed it.

So it's five days until Christmas. There's a lot going on for us, as I'm sure there is for you as well. This past Sunday was my students' recital. Out of the 16 students I teach, 13 of them were able to participate in the recital. Everyone did very well and the recital itself went off without any major hitches.


I've finally realized that recitals are not necessarily about performing your piece perfectly. It's more about gaining the experience of playing in front of others and showcasing the skills you've gained since the LAST recital. The highlight of the event for me was getting to sing a duet with one of my older students, Jennifer. She was with me until about two years ago and is back now, her voice more mature and beautiful then ever. We sang "Mary, Did You Know?" It was nice.

The first Friday of the month, we had the Loonies Pajama Cookie Bake at my friend, Lynn's, house; an event that we have decided to make an annual thing. We all taught together last year and build ourselves a reputation of being a little too silly at times and were told we were "looney". So we have taken on the identity proudly and, even though none of us work together anymore (though we all managed to end up at the same church), we try to have our gatherings as often as possible.

The whole cookie bake thing was Lynn's idea. We all brought the ingredients to make a favorite treat and we helped each other make them. True to my Ohio roots, I brought the makings for Buckeyes. Jess did black bottoms, which is a Maryland thing. Lynnie had made oatmeal cookies and Jen did sugar cookies. Everything was good and fun and I really thank God for such awesome friends.

That's about it for now, I guess. We are looking forward to a relatively quiet Christmas here at home. Mom, Dad and Jen are driving in on the 28th to celebrate not only Christmas, but Mom and Dad's 32nd wedding anniversary as well. After that, our nephew, David, who is in the military, will be here for a few days. We're hosting a New Year's Eve party this year, so if you're not doing anything already to ring in 2007, consider doing it with us and some of our friends.

In any event, I pray you are well, readers. Be at peace, stay safe, eat lots of cookies and enjoy God's blessings this season!

Hey! Do this. It's fun and will change your life...

Create your own friendquiz here

Hace frio

Waiting for the bus this morning was reminiscent of freezing my butt off doing the same growing up in Ohio.

Thanksgiving pictures

Once again, I decided that a slide show would be the easiest way to do this. Enjoy...

Good news

I did NOT gain any weight over the Thanksgiving holiday.

Pictures coming soon (of the Thansgiving holiday -- not of me not gaining weight).

Rescue me

Would somebody please come and rescue me from all of these loud, smelly males? There is WAY too much testoterone in this house.









Help...

Autumn in my neighborhood...

We had a particularly beautiful autumn this year. I was fortunate to be able to capture some of the brilliant colors before the leaves fell off of the trees. Enjoy...


This is the backyard


















These were taken at Micah and Jacob's bus stop...
























And THIS is me!



Happy Fall, y'all!

On a lighter note...

I never did blog about Joshua's birthday. I think I'm in denial. This "having a teenager" thing is freaking me out. I know people have teenagers all over the world, but, nevertheless, it's still freaking me out.

On October 25, 1993, Matt and I brought a 7lb. 11oz., 20.5 inch bald-headed little baby into this world.

Two weeks ago, this 5'10" 215lb. baby turned 13.

Ah, the magic of time.

Josh is a good boy. He's polite and thoughtful. Does he have an attitude sometimes? Absolutely. But when it all comes down, he makes good choices and is a sweet guy. He's funny, honing his sense of humor more so the last year I've noticed.

He's in the 7th grade this year at Pine Grove Middle and is doing well. Grade cards come out in about another week so more on that later.

The difference between 12 and 13 is pretty big. Lats year on his birthday, he was still asking for toys. This year, it's shoes, jerseys, xbox games and cold, hard cash! And these shoes we speak of? He's in a size 14 now. Help!

Tomorrow night we're having a party. Josh has invited five or six of his friends from school, football and the old neighborhood. Pray for our sanity and nice weather and whatever else you think would help!

PS - Like my cake?

Loss

I went to the cemetery today. I don't go very often. It's too hard sometimes.

I talk to Caleb at the cemetery. I know he's not there and he can't here me, but I talk to him anyway. I think I do it more for me than for him. Actually, I know I do.

What prompted me to go is his little brother. Our youngest, Jacob, has been talking about Caleb more than ever lately. We were pulling into the Walmart parking lot yesterday and heard Jacob crying in the backseat. I asked him what was wrong and he just said, "Caleb" and burst into tears. He acted similarly the rest of the day and even a little today (I'm kind of concerned about school for him tomorrow. They've been off the last two days). Jacob was only four when his brother died. Though it's been just over a year and he's only five now, I still wonder if the reality of what has happened is starting to sink in. I just tell him that he can think about and cry about Caleb as much as he wants. And if he wants to think about him and not cry, that's OK, too.

Loss is such a weird process. Abnormal or unexpected loss more so. I mean, we all have loss. Everyone can relate to losing a grandparent and, sadly and eventually, a parent. My heart breaks for those who lose a spouse. This loss of a child is so...

There are no words. Or manuals. Just layers. And when you think you have worked through your layers, more peel back and are somehow deeper. I told my friend, Sue, that after a year, the highs get a little higher so it seems that when you do fall, you fall further.

So I stand in a cemetery and think about and talk to and miss my ten-year-old. I cry. I push back how much I miss him and think about all that he is experiencing with his Father. That helps. I kiss his grave marker before I leave every time.

And then I go home to three beautiful boys and an incredible husband. I thank God for every day we have and everything with which we have been blessed.

And continue this journey...

How many of me?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 13 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Football

You know, life is interesting sometimes.

I don't get football. Never have, really. What's more surprising is that I sat through 5 years of high school football games -- by being a proud member of the Pleasant High School Marching Spartans -- yes, I was a band geek (5 years because I marched as an 8th grader). All of that aside, I watched all of that football and didn't "get it". You have downs and flags and ... stuff.

Strangly enough, at 34 years old, football has become a big thing in my life lately. Our 13-year-old son has just completed his first football season. When I wasn't helping our younger two decide which coloring book belonged to whom, I was peppering my husband with questions about the game. So I learned a little.

Also, we've never been ones to watch THE game, but again, our son's recent involvement in the sport has caused an interest to watch a game or two (usually the Patriots or the Ravens). The people to whom's house we go for small group are also into football.



So, after all of these years, I'm starting to "get it." The downs, fumbles, penalties, scoring system are all starting to make a little more sense. And I guess it's kind of fun. So I close with this thought -- Go Buckeyes -- and this picture of my future NFL player...

Food for thought...

Would you like fries with that?

Katy's Quirkiness Challenge

Thought it was time for a little challenge of my own. Here's what you do; list five things about yourself that are unusual, anal or quirky. Try to find things people might not already know about you. Comment away and everyone who reads this is automatically tagged.

Here are mine to start:

1. I hate to eat on trays. They make me feel institutionalized.
2. I don't like cottage cheese and tomato juice, respectively, even though I've never tasted either one.
3. I've always wanted to change my middle name to Elizabeth.
4. The finality of dropping something in a mailbox bothers me a great deal.
5. I'm particularly good at spelling and grammar.

So there you have it -- just for fun I guess. I'll blog about deeper things later.

Josh's Doctor's Visit

Today, during Joshua's 13-year-old check up (his birthday is two weeks from Wednesday), Dr. Bittar told me about how tall we can expect him to be based on his size now and the growth curves.

She said he'll most likely end up between 6'4" and 6'6".

Fortunately, she said the feet do tend to grow first. Good news considering his football cleats are a size 13.





Help.

Jen's Clever Ugly Picture Challenge

Yes, I am a willing participant in my sister's latest brainchild. These are the details in her words:

I hereby challenge you to find the most unflattering picture you have of yourself and post it on your blog.
The rules are:
1. Post an ugly picture of yourself,
2. Don't post ugly pictures of your unsuspecting friends, and
3. Everyone who comments on the Ugly Picture Post must come up with a clever caption that fits your picture.

So here's my picture. It's one I particularly hate. The story is -- my friend Jess had just gotten herself all purdied up at the hair salon and came over to show me. I subsequently looked like crap and we were able to capture the moment forever.




Ewwwww!


Tag. You're it.

Jesus Camp

Hmmm. The "Jesus Camp" movie was just brought to my attention for the first time today.

I repeat. Hmmmmm...

Let me give you a bit of my background and then I'll give you my unsolicited opinion. I was raised Baptist, conservative. In college, I leaned more toward the charismatic. My husband and I have ministered in about every type of church you could imagine from Lutheran to Pentecostal. I've had hands laid on me, prayed for healings, raised my hands during worship, felt God giving me a sense when praying for others and even privately speak in tongues on occasion while praying. I believe that God hears me just the same, though, when I pray silently or sing a hymn.

I watched this trailer today and have watched several other commentaries and opinions.

Mine?

I love God. That's the bottom line. And not much thrills me more than to see Him working in and through children. What concerns me, though, is the extreme I am observing. I hear these kids saying things that are not "kid" things to say. It seems they are repeating by rote something that has been taught to them; something they might not even understand. I'm wondering if there is a heart connection. Also I've noticed something else that I'm not crazy about, here and in many other charismatic and pentecostal circles. The "gifts" are there to enhance our relationship with God; much like a toolbox. I always get concerned when the gifts become the focus.

Our personal philosophy in ministry has become much more practical. Sure, you can come to church and have a great experience with God, but are you different when you leave? Better yet, are you in a place to be a tangible blessing to someone else?

Yes, we are warring for a generation. I definitely understand that. How are we going to reach a world though, if we're not speaking their language? I don't mean to compromise the message of Christ by any means. But I've seen a sweaty construction worker on a hot, summer day genuinely blessed by someone offering him a cold bottle of water. Would he have been as touched by someone approaching him to ask if he was saved? The bottle of water might offer that opportunity, though. And it might not. God may have that job for someone else down the road.

Can we focus on teaching kids to look for tangible ways to be a blessing to their friends and then trust God to open doors? Why do we feel such a desperation to lead someone to a relationship with Christ the way we think it should be done instead of operate within His timing.

OK. I'm off the topic. Sorry. Maybe we would do best to stick to the example Jesus set for us. He strived to obey God at all times, but he also chose to be very aware of the practical needs of those around Him. He fed hungry people. When they were sick, he fixed them. He did go off and spend time with his Father when he needed to, but most of His ministry was spend making His Father's plan relevant.

Your comments?

My 15 years of school... in retrospect

OK. So I'm copying Becca. But having my kids in 7th grade, 2nd grade and kindergarten, respectively, does make me reflect on my school years. Here's a recap:

We didn't have preschool in the late '70's.

Kindergarten - I went to River Valley (we moved the next summer). Mrs. Gandert was my teacher. She was nice but I really remember the assistant, Mrs. Comstock. She and I had the same favorite color -- orange. I got in trouble for stealing a candy lipstick thing off of the desk and holding it my hand for all of recess. I got in trouble. It was slightly traumatic.

1st Grade - Pleasant from here on out. I had Mrs. Short. She was... short. I sat next to a boy named Chad who ate glue and I faked a nap on my desk once.

2nd Grade - Mrs. Kay had a reputation for being mean, but she was OK. I coughed in the direction of a girl who was friends with a girl I wanted to be my best friend. I wanted her to get sick. That wasn't very nice. She didn't get sick anyway.

3rd Grade - Mrs. Michaels was my favorite in elementary. My best friend, Tara, was in my class. We learned cursive. It was a good year.

4th Grade - Got my hair cut short and permed. I had Mrs. Truka. My sister had her too. She was nice, but I sat across from a girl who was mean. I did a book report on Amelia Earhart and dressed up like her. A picture of me reading to my mom was in the yearbook. I was in the first gfted and talented program with only one other girl from my grade.

5th Grade - Mrs. Young was nice. We were in the junior high building. I liked to read Noelle Streatfield books from the library. I had Mrs. Sharp for math. She was grouchy.

6th Grade - Mr. Gorby went to our church and I liked him. Jen had him, too. He had every class build bridges out of posterboard. I had Mr. Covert for science. He was mean. Cabbage Patch Kids were big that year.

7th - 8th Grade - These two years were not the highlight of my school career. I was tall and awkward. I had some teachers I liked and some I didn't. Mr. Coffman was cool. I had Mr. Stevens for history and he was HARD. I flunked two tests in that class and cried a lot. I liked Mrs. Dendinger. I was in her class when the space shuttle blew up. I loved my band director, Mr. Holsinger. He let me march in the high school marching band in 8th grade.

9th - 12th Grade - High school was fun. I could sing and found my niche. The best teacher by far was Mrs. Gruber, the librarian. I never sat through a study hall because I was busy working or hanging out in the library. I still keep in touch with her. I also loved Mrs. Burris, the chorus teacher. Mrs. Stoneburner was a hard English teacher but also the drama director. I got in trouble (with my mom) for getting mad at Mr. Hall and yelling at him. Overall, I really enjoyed high school.

13th -14th Grade - I was a vocal performance major at the University of Akron. My sister was there, too and we had fun. Dr. Schiller was my voice teacher. She was rarely on time for lessons. It was annoying. I liked our choir director, Dr. MacClary, and our opera scenes guy, Mr. Anderson, even though he usually smelled like alcohol.

I got married the next summer with plans to go back, but things went in a different direction. I'll go back someday.



That was fun. Thanks, Becca.

Try it...

I'm cool.

My almost 13-year-old son is impressed that I have Green Day on my iPod.

Does life get any better?

Put down the cheeseburger and back away slowly...

OK. So I'm watching Maury and am getting a little irritated. It's the show he does from time to time about obese children -- we're talking three-year-olds that weigh like 85 lbs. What really kills me is that the parents come on here crying about how worried they are about their child's health (as they should be), but then they show footage of these poor children stuffing cheeseburgers, fries and pizza in their mouths.

OK. Here's an idea. STOP BUYING THAT FOOD FOR YOUR CHILD! I guarantee the kid didn't hop in the family minivan and drive through the McDonald's drive thru. If you're genuinely concerned about your child's health, STOP putting chili cheese fries on the tray of their high chair!

Their argument is that the child will cry if they don't get what they want. And... Don't most kids cry when they don't get their way?

There are over 12 million obese children in the United States. Now don't get me wrong. I have a bigger-than-average 12-year-old myself. We, as a family, as trying to practice more portion control and get moving more. I just think it's a sad commentary about us as Americans and the inability to delay gratification and exercise some self-control. Especially when we're talking about a three- or four-year-old.

Maybe I should just stop watching Maury.

Tucker's new project

My dog, Tucker, is digging a hole to China. He will send you a postcard when he gets there.

I got gas for $2.09/gallon today!

See. It doesn't take a whole heck of a lot to make me happy :-)

My myspace space

I guess since I linked to Tom's (not THE Tom. We had to clarify that) myspace, I thought you might enjoy seeing mine, too. It is kinda fun. I've found several people from old youth groups, college, high school, etc. Mostly my friends and I here in Baltimore use it for our general amusement and inside jokes that no one else gets any way.

Twenty years ago today...

I can't believe I'm going to do this. It will prove to be quite embarrassing...

...ahem...

Twenty years ago today was September 27, 1987. Duh. You already know that, right? Well, what you may not know is that twenty years ago today, I was a freshman in high school going to my first homecoming with my first boyfriend, Kelvin Shaw. ... sigh... I liked him. He gave me a necklace. Oh, I can't believe I'm going to do this... OK... brace yourself... here it comes...



AHHHHH! But look how skinny I was. Geesh. I think I weighed like 120 lbs. Oh, and that's our dog, Taffy. She's fetching sticks with Jesus now. I've lost track of Kelvin, but would love to find him again.

Of course, I can't do this without sucking other people into the vortex of embarrassment. Here's my sister and her friend/date/all-around good guy, Tom Thomas.

Awwww. BTW, the reason she is smiling with her mouth closed is because of the braces. Fortunately, those have been removed now and her teeth are quite lovely. Tom has a myspace and we have just recently reconnected. Myspace is good for that.

Now, I didn't mention to you that homecoming also happened to occur on my best friend, Kelly's, 14th birthday. We double dated. It was exciting. Wishing you a big happy 34th, Kel, with this one of you and Jeremy right here...



Nice tie, huh. You gotta love the '80's!

Comment. Or, maybe on second thought, don't.

Monday thoughts...

I noticed something this morning. I had just put the boys on the bus and was letting Tucker out in the back yard (did I mention I LOVE my backyard?) and I noticed the trees.

The leaves on the trees in the backyard are starting to change color.

You're probably thinking, "Katy, you do know the leaves change color every year, don't you?"

Yes. I know that.

Last year, though, I missed a lot of things. Last September in my mind was a fuzz of greiving, and when I wasn't doing that, teaching school. I completely missed fall last year. I didn't notice it until they had already fallen off the trees.

I also realized I was home alone (Matt is in Denver doing a CR weekend) and was OK with that. See, I'm not the kind of person that does as well alone as I do with others and, after Caleb died, I had really issues with being home alone.

I'm just very aware today of God's healing. We have been through a season of intense mourning. Not that we don't still miss him. He's talked about every day in our home. It seems now that we are in a season of enjoying and appreciating God's grace, blessings and goodness.

I like it.

My final thought for the day. A bathroom shared by two little boys, five and seven, can get really disgusting. I cleaned it today. They're like little heathens. YUCK!

Have a good week :-D

First day of school pictures (finally!)

I thought this would be a fun way to share our pictures from the first day of school. See how big my men are? Everyone is really enjoying school so far. We are so blessed to be in the school district that we are in now. Enjoy...

Other pictures

Other various pictures. Enjoy...

I'm coming, I'm coming...

Yes, there was a first day of school and yes, I do have lots of pictures and newsy stuff to post, but for now it's late and I'm still nursing a cold-ish thing (and I kinda feel like crap) so I'm going to go to bed now. Keep your pants on. Pictures of adorable children and lots of news coming shortly...

Don't shop at Walmart for school supplies the week before school starts.

Just trust me. Don't.

and now I'm home...

...and tired! Ten plus hours in the car today. We got Alyse all settled in, though, and had fun doing it. So mission accomplished.

I have a very busy week ahead. The boys all start school a week from tomorrow and we still have to get school supplies, get on our new schedule, visit both schools.... all exciting stuff, though, so not too much of a burden. And then there's the usual weekly phone calls, cleaning and errands. Tell you a little secret, though... I love it. I am so looking forward to working from home and being home this year. I love home (more than I love lamp). And especially THIS home. I think I like it more each time I come home to it.

(the word "home" was in the preceeding paragraph five times, in case you didn't count for yourself)

My husband did a brilliant job of holding down the fort and even supervised major cleaning detail Saturday morning. Yea Matt. So I get to sleep in my own bed tonight AND the house is clean. Wow. I feel like there's going to be a leprechaun on my porch in the morning or something.

Life is good. God is good.

Your thoughts?

I'm in Tennessee!

That's right folks. I up and took off for a warmer climate. My friend, Sue, drove her daughter, Alyse, down to Lee University today and I came along for some companionship and general amusement (I am rather amusing after all...)

It was a nice, long drive. The sadly ironic thing is, however, I am no where close to the family I have in Tennessee. But never fear, I am slated to see them next weekend around our Chain Reaction weekend in Hunstville, AL.

Tomorrow, we get Alyse moved into her dorm and get to see the campus in broad daylight. From what we saw this evening in the dark, it is quite beautiful. I caught a glimpse of a beautiful grand piano in the music building that I may try to sneak off and get my hands on. Matt and the boys are at home enjoying a quiet house with no company for the first time in almost a month.

I am thankful that I was at a point in my schedule where I could just take off and go for a few days. I realized that it is the first time I've ever taken a road trip with a couple of other girls and I'm rather enjoying myself. When I get back, we will be getting geared up for school, which starts on the 28th.

I'm sleepy. More later...

hooray...

Tonight, I won Dutch Blitz with my sister-in-law, Karen, and my nephew, Zak. This is very refreshing because I often come close to winning without actually winning. Feel me? But tonight I tasted sweet victory (while I tasted some fudge at the same time).

So does this change anything in the scheme of eternity? Not so much. It was just fun to win for once.

Cool, huh.

You seriously think you're bringing that mouthwash on the plane? Seriously?

OK. So I've been thinking about yesterday's crisis -- which did directly affect us, by the way. My friend Debbie flew out of BWI and she really thought through if she wanted to fly with all of the goings on. Long story short, she did and was not blown up by explosive toothpaste. That is a good thing.

But I was thinking about how much intelligence it must require to come up with liquids that you can safely bring on an airplane and then mix together to blow it up. I mean, seriously. My biggest question is why can't these brilliant minds spend their time doing something more productive? There are diseases to be cured, clean up from natural disasters that could still be done... come on. I wish I had that kind of a scientific mind so I could do something to benefit mankind instead of crafting ways to blow up Americans... which is a whole other issue in and of itself...

Friday, August 5, 2005

I wrote the following in my journal this morning:

A year ago today, my world came undone.

After a year, it still doesn't seem real.

I miss that beautiful, caring child more than I could ever put into words.

I've come to some conclusions, though, over the course of this past year. God owes us nothing. Every single day is a gift. If it's a good day, then it is a bonus. Even the ten years we had with Caleb - it was a gift. We didn't have to have any years at all, but we were graciously given ten -- a decade. And what a wonderful decade it was. To have a young man who has left behind such a legacy -- you can't make that happen. Only God can.

I won't be unrealisitc about this. My heart hurts like I never thought it could. Sometimes, in my head, I scream my questions at God. I see what my husband and son have had to experience and truly wonder why. I see my son without his partner and best friend re-learning how to live. I see two little boys whose memories of their big brother may someday be only something faint.

I know it's not fair but neither is God. He is just, though.

I got this as part of an email from my friend, Iris, yesterday:

"i was thinking about caleb today.

i was thinking about the fact that he was about my daughter's age when i met him.

even at that young age his loving qualities were very evident.

i remember how he was so giving and thoughtful even at that age...

when other children were still learning the concept of sharing... he just knew.

his sensitivity grew with every person he met.

in caleb's world, everyone's feelings mattered.

i love caleb.

and i just wanted to let you know that i was thinking about him.

he's just beautiful... and when someone's beautiful... their image is burned into your memory... it's locked away somewhere deep within the pocket in your heart."

Fortunately, today is a beautiful day. It feels like a day to be happy, so I will as much as possible. To those who have called, texted and emailed; if I don't get back to you, thank you. Thank you for remembering, praying for us, being in our life.


On another note, we have been very blessed with having folks in our home lately -- the biggest reason I wanted a bigger house with more rooms. I love having people over!! Matt's ministry partner, Jeremy, is here for a few days and we've enjoyed his company. My friend from way back, Debbie, is flying in on Monday. She and I share a lot of common interests; crocheting, sign language. She actually has experienced the loss of a child, too. Another thing, sadly, that binds us together. My parents and sister were here last weekend. They all helped out tremendously and we had a little fun in the midst of it, too.

I'm blessed to hear that there are people out there reading my blog. Please comment. It's not hard. You do have to sign up with blogger, but you don't necessarily have to blog.

My heart is really quite full of love for those dear friends and family out there. More happy blogging coming soon. I'm behind on some other thoughts I'd like to share, but... another day...

Hace calor

Oh my gosh, it is so freakin' hot! Today the temp is set to get up to 102, but, here's the good news -- it's going to FEEL like 113. A very unenthusiastic yippee.

We do not have central air in the house yet, so we have resigned ourselves to two window units in the basement and fans to spread it around (just like you, Melissa!). Now, the upstairs... we just avoid that all together. We've also discovered that the $3 movie theater provides a great respite for about two hours.

It's supposed to be down into to '80's by Saturday.

I'm so glad I'm not going to hell.

Cheers!

Fourteen years ago today, I married my best friend. We have had some pretty extreme highs and lows, but it has been so good. I am truly blessed.

We went downtown and ate at Philip's, rode in a little electric boat in the harbor, and got some dessert. We talked, laughed, even cried a little, and had a wonderful time. I am amazed that God put me with someone with whom I can spend so much time and still be crazy about him.

Like the song says, Matthew, you amaze me...



(this is us on Plumb Beach in Massachusetts during Chain Reaction twoish weeks ago)

I wanna be a part of it....

Well, let me just say thet New York has been hot... and not Paris Hilton hot, mind you; sweaty, sticky, big hair hot. We've been here since Monday -- the first leg of this summer's Chain Reaction stuff. We're not doing a structured Chain Reaction here in NYC -- just came to serve alongside our friends here at Abounding Grace. We've been doing things here at AG for several years now and consider them family. We're sleeping in our usual location -- the nursery. It's wall to wall us, but good. The group here has been doing outreach at a different location each day.

The boys love to play at Tompkins Park, where we had last night's outreach. Since it's been so hot, they have had the sprinklers on in the park. Funners.



The subway, of course, is always fun. It's much less nerve wracking as the boys are older now. The first time we did the subway with all four boys, Jacob was only 14 months old! You haven't experienced the subway until you've done it while accidentally smacking people in the head with a stroller! This is Jacob and Jeremy's son, Judah on the subway.



Well, we head to Massachusetts tonight. Chain Reaction New England kicks off Sunday evening/Monday morning. More pics and thought to come...

Arghhhh

There are lots of things I want to blog about but I just don't have the TIME right now!

Oh, where do I begin?

Hello, friends. I hope there are some out there still checking in with me every now and then. I know the blog has been silent as of late, but the internet is up and running at the new house so I will share what's inside my brain much more frequently.

The biggest news is actually something that happened quite suddenly and, unfortunately, devoured a week of productivity. Last Monday evening as I sat down to eat dinner, I started to feel really nauseous and noticed a pain in my lower left side that traveled into my lower back. The pain kind of came and went until finally I did get sick. After that, the pain really kicked in. In fact, it became pretty unbearable. Now, keep in mind, I've giving birth four times with no drugs. This was beginning to feel worse. Matthew called our insurance's medical advice line (I was worried about referral issues) and they eventually told us to go to the ER. We drove to GBMC around 1am. The pain was coming in "surges", causing me to break into a sweat and vomit every time the pain would peak. After some tests, x-rays, cat scans and blood work, they told me I had a kidney stone. I was sent home with a pain killer, anti-nausea medicine and a filter thing to try to catch the stone.

I felt better and slept quite a bit Tuesday. By Wednesday, I tried to get up and around a little more. By Wednesday night into Thursday, though, I noticed that the medication wasn't doing a whole lot. By Thursday evening, the pain became unbearable again - actually, worse than before. Matt took me back to the emergency room again. After IV fluids and painkillers, they decided to admit me because the pain couldn't be handled by oral painkillers. I spent a boring Friday in the hospital and was taken to the OR Saturday around noon to have the little bugger removed. I must admit, I was nervous. I've never been put under anethesia before. Matthew was there to pray with me and help keep me calm. The surgery felt kind of like a nap! I still have a stint in my kidney/bladder area that will have to be removed next week sometime, but we are definitely through the worst of things. I am still weak and a bit dizzy at times, but thankful to put this mess behind us!

Yes, in the midst of this we have completely moved over into the new house. My parents were here last weekend and were a tremendous help. My poor mom, though, slipped on our stairs and badly sprained her ankle. Another trip to the emergency room. After a wrap and some crutches, she kept going. What a trooper! I just talked to her today and she is doing pretty well.

I can't put into words how much I love this new house. You still have to be a bit of a visionary -- there are a lot of boxes around and the kitchen doesn't look completely like a kitchen yet -- but it feels right to be here. The yard is a blessing and this neighborhood is much different than where we lived before. We are getting things like we want them to be despite unrelenting rain, my medical escapades, and life happening in spite of everything.

It's time to pick up things with the CD as well. The feedback we're getting from those who are listening to it is encouraging. A few of you have contacted me wanting one. They're coming! Thanks for your patience.

That's all for now I guess. If you've read this whole thing, wow. Thanks. Stay tuned and come visit - my blog and at the new house. We're having a party Sunday from 4 - 7pm. Email me at supermommyof4@yahoo.com if you'd like more info...

More soon :-)

Overwhelmed

First - the good news. School is over. Yesssss.

Second - the not quite as great news. I have SO MUCH PACKING TO DO!! This week our stategy is basically to have Matt at the new house (which we affectionately refer to as Burton) working on building the new walls, painting, etc. while I am at the old/current house (aka Deanwood) packing our worldly possessions. After almost seven years, those worldly posessions amount to a lot.

Slow and steady, one bite at a time, etc.

Third - more good news. I'm very encouraged by the positive response I've gotten about the CD so far. I've kind of lost perspective on it because I've had to listen to it so many times. People seem to be blessed and encouraged by it and that is the ultimate goal.

Fourth - yummy news. We went over to Mike and Hazel's yesterday morning. Mike is graciously letting us use his truck in the midst of our remodeling/moving. Hazel baked us a big batch of her amazing chocolate chip cookies because she figured I didn't have time to bake right now. Right you are, Hazel, and so appreciated for making those incredible cookies!

Overall, life is good. I certainly cannot complain. God has blessed us with basically our dream house and our timetable has been pretty ideal.

Hope your life is full of chocolate chip cookies. I'll be back here again soon!

Full circle

Cool thing tonight. There's a girl whose name is Rachael and she's very cool. She was in our youth group at the Cathedral of Tomorrow about a million years ago (OK - I'm exaggerating - it was in '91-'92ish so like 15 years). The funny thing is that we have this habit of losing touch for a few years at a time, but we always seem to catch up with each other again. I found her sister-in-law on myspace recently and she graciously offered to pass my numbers on to Rachael (Thanks, Angie). So I got a call from Rachael tonight and we got a chance to catch up a bit - it's probably been around 8 years(?) since we've really talked. A lot of life has happened in that time. Happy me.

Oh, the CD is out and beginning to circulate. It has turned out really well. If you'd like to get your hands on one, email me and I'll assist you in doing so! My email is supermommyof4@yahoo.com.

Only two more days of school. There are no words...

Stay cool - and I mean that literally!

It's important to have a plan...

Well, the closing on our new house is Monday (finally!!), we closed on our current house on the 11th and the plans for moving are in place. The new house is quite wonderful and we are very excited. There is some remodeling to do (we're expanding the kitchen) and quite a bit of painting (if you're good with a brush and have some time, PLEASE let Matt know) but we do have a bit of a timetable now. I'm a little overwhelmed by the amount of work we have ahead of us, but it's going to be great when we're on the other side.

These are some shots of our backyard. It is HUGE!









The fireplace in our front room:

and this is the house from the back:


Obviously, for safety reasons, I'm not going to put our new address on here. If you want our info, email me at supermommyof4@yahoo.com. Thanks for sharing in my joy!!

Has anyone seen me?

If I happen to come up missing in the next week and a half or so, you may want to look under a large pile of papers to be graded. I have SO much to do before school is out. And if I'm under there and asleep, just let me sleep...

Happy Birfday!

Well, today Mr. Jacob is five years old and, let me tell you, he thinks he's pretty hot stuff. He came into the bathroom this morning. I was at the sink and Matt was in the shower. I said, "Happy birthday, baby," to which he gave the proper answer of, "Thank you," (proud mommy moment). He then promptly left the bathroom. Matt said, "Happy birthday" and Jacob obviously didn't hear because he had left. Jacob promptly returned, this time to actually USE the bathroom. He did what was necessary and then leaned up to the shower curtain and said, "What do you say to me today, Daddy?"

He's a little mad at me though. He feels that he should be in kindergarten today since he is five now. I think he'll get over it.

We were carrying all the party stuff for his class to the car and he informed us that he did not have to carry anything because it was his birthday! If only life were that simple!

There will be presents and more cake later, along with big boys presents like bikes, action figures and skate boards.

I can't believe my baby is five. Enjoy it folks. It goes so fast...

Sad

I have honestly tried to make all of my blogs fairly happy and positive, but I now need to pull on the therapuetic advantages of a blog. I'm really down tonight. I didn't think Mother's Day coming would be that hard. I just planned to ignore it like I have with all of the other holidays since Caleb died. but this one is hitting me harder than I thought it would. There's no way when we celebrated last year that I had any idea I wouldn't have one of my sweet boys with me a year later.

I really do trust God that his way is best. I can't say that I agree or would chose to have things go the way they have, but I choose to trust his infinite wisdom.

I just miss him so darn much. I told Matt the other night that it's getting harder to remember specifics about him. There are things I will always have ingrained in my mind, but the day to day mannerisms and stuff like that are getting a little harder. Makes me wish I had just follwed him around with a video camera for a couple of days -- just reguar ordinary days. And it's hard to find the balance between thinking about things a lot to remember but not too much so that you can't function.

If you read this, thank you for caring and keeping up with my journey. My family and I could still use your prayers. Please also pray for my friend, Barb, and her daughter, Kate, who lost their mom/grandma today.

-sigh-

I sincerely hope you enjoy time with your mom/kids this Mother's Day. God is so good to give us each other...

Pictures from the beach at Galveston

Enjoy....

Just a matter of time

Howdy to all my buddies out there.

Well, yesterday we finally shipped off everything for the CD!! Yea! It should take discmakers a few days to master, then about two weeks to duplicate. We hope to have product in hand by the end of the month.

I am very happy with the way everything has turned so far. The music, the artwork... not bad for our first project. More than anything else, though, I really hope it will be a blessing and encouragement to those who get ahold of it.

If you want one, I'll let you know how to get one soon.

Thanks for reading...

Socks are my nemesis

I think they seriously gather at night and have meetings, deciding who is going to hide where. Can we get Congress to pass a bill making all socks uniform so I don't have to spend literally hours on the floor of my family room agonizing over matching the exact grey-tipped toe with another? (Perhaps it would help if I were not so anal!)

I can't tell you how many mornings I've hoped that Jacob would happen to not remove his shoes for nap that day because the best I could match with his navy school sock was a black one.

I think finding only one sock and not it's mate is worse than finding none at all. Deep my friends, very deep. I should write fortune cookies.

I'm so glad it's getting warmer. Sandals are much less stressful ;-)

I don't believe in Karma or anything but...

if you bathe your child at bedtime AND put fresh, clean sheets on their bed, even if they haven't wet the bed in like three months, they will that night. That's just the way it is!

So close we can taste it

Well, we are almost the owners of a home that will be new to us, bigger, with a huge yard. Tonight, Matt and I went to the inspection -- the inspector said it was one of the most solid houses he's seen in a while. This is actually the most time I've spent in the house since I first was inside it two weeks ago. I was a bit rushed that night (had to get home to teach a piano lesson) so it was nice to take time and really "absorb" the house.

So far, God has opened the doors. Please continue to pray with us that they will continue to be open if this is in His plan for us.

More to come!

Home... and off again!

Hello, friends. We are safely home from Texas. I was hoping to blog again while there, but we didn't have internet access the last few days of the trip. It's funny how dependent we get on something that was barely in exisitence 10 years ago! Anyway, the CR weekend at VLC went very well. I sang for church Sunday morning. It was the first time I've done a song that I had written as a "special". Dave made us some CD tracks to use befor we left. It's funny getting up and singing something you created - it's a little vulnerable. Honestly, it was like one of those dreams where you discover you're at school naked! Not to fear -- I did remember to dress that morning! Doing songs others have written feels "safer", but life's too short to take the safe road all of the time.

We moved on to Houston to see friends Mike and Shari May and Doug Stringer (I really must learn how to do links on my blog. You can see their profiles at our site www.chainreaction.be if you click on T.E.A.M.) We went to the Kemah boardwalk for food and fun carnival games (Micah won a basketball). Wednesday afternoon, we began the vacation part of the trip by heading to Galveston Island. It was the first legitimate "do nothing but relax" that we've had since the day we went to Disneyworld last February. We flew kites on the beach, collected shells, ate, shopped in the historic area, and, aside from a little sibling fuss-alry, had an all-around fabulous time. We arrived safely home last (Friday) night. I took tons of pictures that I'll share as soon as I can get them on my computer.

Off again. This time to nearby York, PA. I'm leading worship at Cityview Church and we're enjoying Easter dinner with the Kopps -- good people. More soon.

The stars at night are big and bright

Late Thursday, a little too late, a very tired family got off of a very crowded airplane and sauntered through Houston Hobby airport with a decent amount of wordly possessions in tow. They took the shuttle, rented their car and headed to a nearby hotel where they all subsequently passed out. That’s right, my friends – the Stevens have arrived in Texas.

Let me first tell you that this week has been a crazy one. Between packing, finishing up the CD and another thing I’ll tell you about, I’m running on fumes. I got about 10 total hours of sleep Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights combined. But we’re here and it’s all worth it.

This morning, we drove over three hours to Waco where our dear friends, Pastor Kevin and Becky Harrison, pastor a church. Some of you may know Pastor Kevin as the one who officiated Caleb’s funeral back in August. They are faithful friends who saw us thorough some of our darkest days. It is good to be with them again. We’re doing a Chain Reaction weekend here. The people are “getting it” – good stuff.

OK. Other stuff. Dave is doing the final mix on the CD. We had intended to send it out to be reproduced before we left, but didn’t feel we should rush it for the sake of getting it done a week sooner. Look for an early May release…

WE FOUND A HOUSE! It all happened very quickly. We saw it on Wednesday and made an offer that night, knowing anyone else would snatch it up as soon as they saw it. It is perfect for us and has a huge yard. Please pray that if it’s meant to be that everything will fall into place.

That’s all for now. Hope all of you are well. Stay tuned.

The Stevens Orchard...

Well, I did it. I finally crossed over. You may exhale.

I'm officially a mac girl. Yes, the Dell finally bit the dust. Last night, I became the proud owner of an iBook G4 and I LOVE IT! We got a good deal, too. They have "refreshed" laptops (I told Matt is sounds as if they've been to a spa) that are just as groovy as the brand new ones. We're a comlete mac family now. So I am online, fully-functioning and happy. You may hug me upon seeing me and share in my joy.

Also, I was up until about 2am touching up on the vocals for the CD with Dave. It is sounding pretty good. Matt finished the cover design last night, too and I love it. We're hoping to ship it off this week. Keep praying for us if you could.

It's been fun hearing from a lot of you that you are reading my ramblings. Drop me a comment if you could, or better yet, start your own blog, too. So there!

Almost there...

Hello, friends. Sorry I've not been blogging. I have been busy, busy, busy!

The most exciting thing right now is that, last night, we laid the last vocal track for the CD! Yea! Today, Dave and I will listen through everything to see where any corrections, additions, etc. need to take place. Then he and Matt mix everything and we ship it off to get duplicated. Yea again! I'm really pleased with the way everything is turning out. Hope you'll give it a listen when it's done.

March has been an incredibly long month at school. It's like the Wednesday of months. The kids are tired of school and don't want to be there, I'm tired of school and don't want to be there... But now we move into the final stretch -- one week of standardized testing, spring break, and then only seven more weeks. I'm thinking they'll go fast.

We leave for Texas on Thursday evening. We're going for mainly ministry reasons, but have some good friends to see while we're out there, too; Kevin and Becky Harrison, Doug Stringer, Mike and Shari May and maybe even Uncle Dan and Aunt Melinda! Good times.

Must go get ready for church. More later, gators...

Nothing Imparticular

I've been too busy this week to have any deep theological or philisophical thoughts. This week seemed LONG. Here's what rattling around in my brain if you are interested...

Today was the last day of the third quarter. I never realized what a "hump" the month of March is for teachers. Not a whole lot of days off, the kids have spring fever. Once we hit April, it's one week of Stanford testing, spring break (Texas here we come!) six more weeks and then my first year of teaching is officially over! I must admit, I will enjoy sleeping in for awhile. I'm a big fan. I have enjoyed investing in the lives of these eight kids, though. We get in some great conversations about God, life, etc. Plus I think they kinda like me (except when I'm mean).

Matt and Josh left for Huntsville, Alabama this morning. They are going for some connecting time with our great friends down there. I'm glad they're getting away. My ever faithful Jess is coming to keep me company. We MAY end up at the circus (I mean that literally).

My CD is moving along - finally. For those of you who aren't aware, I've been recording my first CD - something I've wanted to do forever. We're shooting for an Easter-ish release. I'm very excited. More to come on that... too tired right now to go into more detail :-)

I'm enjoying the phenomenon which is myspace.com. It's quite an entertaining way to connect with all kinds of people - funners.

That's it for this tired chick. Comment if something deeper is rolling around in your noggin. Love to all...

Oh, grow up!

We're studying the planets. Why must 6th grade boys snicker everytime I say "Uranus"?

Rough one

It's been a rough day. I've been particularly weepy.

-sigh-

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you that are still praying for our family. It means so very much. Keep it coming, if you don't mind :-)

The slow, painful death of a laptop computer...

Yes. My laptop is dying. It is very sad. You see, I love my computer very much. I've had it for about three or four years and It has been good to me. But now the whirring sound that my hard drive is making is telling me that the end is near. Fortunately, I have all the important stuff backed up (thanks, Mom - again). Also fortunately, we are computer junkies so I have not lost my ability to connect to the internet. SO I shall keep you updated on the fate of my Dell.

Love your computers, folks. They will not last forever.

Hail to the chief...

Micah was sitting at the kitchen counter Thursday evening having his snack. He was playing with this wooden flower thing I have, pretending it was a pencil and his napkin, a piece of paper. He told me he was writing letters. The first was to George Washington. I asked him to read it to me.

"Dear George Washington, I hope you are having fun with Caleb. I want to be just like you when I grow up."

"You want to be just like George Washington?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied. "I want to be the FIRST President of the United States!"

Theory on life...

You know, in the midst of all that life has held in the past years for us, I've come up with a theory. It goes as follows:

God doesn't owe us anything. He never said life would be easy or fun. Actually, He told us quite the opposite; that we would face trials of many kinds to help shape our character and develop perseverence. The only things He promised us were joy (which is a choice), wisdom, His strength when ours is not enough, that He would never have us face anything that we could not bear without His help, etc.

So each day happens. If it's a particularly good one -- bonus. If it's not, we'll make it.

Every day is a gift. You don't get any of them back.

That is what I've learned. I'm hoping to "master" this way of thinking to make my journey between the trees a little more bearable. It doesn't mean that I don't get sad or excited or frustrated. One of my biggest fears is walking around having a chip on my shoulder like someone owes me something. Our friend, Rob Stoppard, calls that the "victim mentality". We're not victims -- everything we experience in a result of our choice in one way or another.

..... I'm getting sidetracked.

Your thoughts....

(have a good weekend, by the way :-)

Book Reports

As I sit here and type, I am listening to my 6th grade students present their book reports. So far we've had Pollyanna, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Still to come, I believe are Huck Finn, Tom Sawyer, the Indian in the Cupboard and a couple of others. Good stuff. They are doing a fine job. They're pretty facinated on how Injun Joe killed the doctor right now.

So what favorite books do we have out there? I've read a few that I've about done backflips over. For the last year or so, I've been on a big Tedd Dekker kick. I LOVE his stuff - he's brilliant. I've read the Circle trilogy (Black, Red and White), Obsessed, Blink and my very VERY favorite is Thr3e. I have his new one, Showdown, is in my bag (thanks, Mom). I hope to start it this weekend. I also like stuff by Beverly Lewis, Terri Blackstock, Francine Rivers, Lori Wick, Dee Henderson, Ray Blackston... the list goes on. I generally stick to Christian fiction. I'm glad there are some really talented authors in this genre. Don't get me wrong - I've read some stuff that's pretty cheesy, too. But, in general, that's my preference.

How about y'all?

Valentine's Day pictures

Alright, friends. Welcome to the first installment of "Pictures with Katy". These are pictures from the holiday of LOOOOOVE!! AKA - St. Valentine's Day.



Esta es la Hummer que Josh construyo. For those of you not fluent in Spanish - this is the Hummer that Josh built. He did just about all of it all by his little ol' self. I helped with the front bumper and Matt helped with the luggage rack. Yes, we know it kind of resembles a school bus, but he insisted on making it yellow. It's actually a box for Valentines. He was awarded first prize in the contest for Valentine's boxes between all the 6th and 7th graders. Yea Josh!!



These are the pretty-ful flowers that my super groovy husband got for me. Yea Matt!



This is my baby daddy and me. hee hee. I am so thankful to have spent 15 Valentine's Days with this wonderful man.



How many of you got a Valentine's kiss like this? Jacob and me. Don't be jealous...



Micah and his best buddy.

Love, peace and happiness to all! XOXO

Pictures a'comin'...

Hey friends. I finally got some of the pictures off of my camera and onto my computer today so I will be sharing them soon. I've gotta fix all of the red eyes -- my boys all look like little demons!

We've been tossing the sickness around still this week. How very annoying. Jacob was vomitting this weekend and now Micah has been croupy and looks a little puny. Please pray we get all this stinkin' sickness out of our house! Argh!

I hope all of my blog-o-licious friend out there are doing well. Holla at yo' girl...

February 21st

Today was the final in what I consider to be three significant hurdles. I know people just walked around going about their normal Tuesday business. I felt as if I wanted to stop them and say, "Don't you realize what today is and how hard it is for me?" But the world went on as usual.

Today should have been a day with birthday cake, laser tag and presents. Today is the day my son, Caleb, would have turned 11 years old. In some ways, it was harder than the other two hurdles, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I guess it's because one's birthday is about just that person and no one else.

-sigh- I miss him so much I can hardly stand it sometimes.

Sometimes when I get really down, I imagine what my sweet son might be doing in heaven. I wonder if they celebrate birthdays and what an 11 year old does up there for fun. Matt, the boys and I have had some fun conversations about this. Josh thinks he's driving a Hummer and skateboarding with my grandma. I've decided he might be an activities director of sorts; planning scavenger hunts, bingo and the like.

So we went to the Baltimore aquarium today. At first, I was fighting depression so bad, I didn't want to go anywhere. Once we got there, though, it was great. I am finding that keeping the mind busy is a good way to cope with grief.

Thanks for sharing in my thoughts today. Our family can still use all the prayer we can get!



Joshua, Caleb and Tucker



Caleb being... Caleb



My boys