Happiness is...

All of the beautiful, colorful things growing in my yard right now!!

Hey! I'm blogging again...

Wow.

I kind of missed the whole month of April, huh.

For those of you who have still been checking in and seeing the SAME DARN POSTS -- sorry.

I recently contacted a friend on myspace to ask him how he was doing and his respose was as follows:

Life is pretty good right now. I feel this tendency to say life is busy, but that's not it. Life is full. Which is a good thing. It's not overly exciting, but it's purposeful.

I decided that I really like that response. It sums up very well how I feel about our life lately. Things have been so busy that I feel like someone hit me on the head on New Years Day and I just now woke up and discovered that it's May! When did time get to galloping along so fast?

In the past month, we've celebrated Easter, dyed hard-boiled eggs and discovered our yard is perfect for an easter egg hunt, enjoyed a trip to Ohio to see family and friends over spring break, mourned the senseless death of 32 innocent people in the Virginia Tech shootings, lead worship twice at Emmanuel Christian Fellowship in York, PA, took on three new students, did four scrapbook pages, made another trip to Ohio (this time just me :-) for a Women of Faith conference and to see family and friends, met some great new friends, got the boys' 3rd quarter report cards and celebrated my husband's 38th birthday (he's old! hee hee).

No excuse not to blog, mind you, but busy all the same.

So I've got pictures and stories to share, but not tonight. I will leave you with a thought, though (and will get back to my Happiness is... Fridays tomorrow).

I flew out of BWI airport a week ago today. It was an overcast day. The half-filled plane took off in a fairly smooth manner and I began to settle into my window seat and enjoy the flight. I was tired, having gotten only about four and a half hours of sleep the night before in my preparation for leaving my boys for four days.

I must tell you that I'm the type of person whose mood is affected by the weather. On sunny days, I tend to be more productive and just in a beter mood overall. When it is rainy or overcast, I would be better off just going back to bed!

It wasn't raining, but the sky was gray. As the plane rose higher, I watched the houses, roads and cars get smaller. Soon, we were in the middle of a cloud, surrounded by it's white/gray fuzz. I got bored and considered closing my eyes and trying to get some sleep (not that I ever sleep well in airplanes).

Then, all of the sudden, it was sunny. As much as I hate to admit my stupidity, my first thought was, "I thought today was supposed to be overcast," but then I realized the sun was shining because we were over the clouds now. The day, or every day for that matter, was already sunny -- just covered by clouds.

My thought quickly turned to my life and some things I've walked through in the past few years. On my "cloudiest" days -- layers of grieving for my son, staying silent when lies were being told about me and my husband, even the intense pain of a kidney stone -- the sun was always shining. It just didn't feel sunny.

The thought literally brought tears to my eyes. I was brought to a realization that God is always there. I know that sounds really simple, but I think I forget that sometimes. It's so easy to focus on the fact that the sun isn't shining and forget that God is just on the other side of the clouds.

I hope you wake up and see the sun tomorrow -- whether it's behind the clouds or not!

(and thanks for sticking in there during my absence!)

Happiness is...

...going to the Mayland Fire Museum with you son's second grade class.

(Pictures coming tomorrow. It's been a very busy week and I'm too tired tonight!)

Happiness is...

Wearing stickers on your arm and a paper clip necklace around your neck!

Space... the final frontier

I am coming to certain realizations in my life. Matt and I together are also coming to realizations as a couple and a family. One of those realizations is that we want to spend time on things that are life-giving. Now, we understand stewardship and responsibility are huge factors in that -- that is to say, we can't just spend all of our time doing things we enjoy if we don't first have our family physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually cared for. With that being understood, the rest of the time we have needs to be spent doing things that bring life to us as a family.

I'll take it a step more toward the personal.

I am a creator (not THE creator. That's God. Duh). I find creating things to be very life giving; mainly music and crafts. Music is obvious. That's what I do and love. The craft thing is a bit of an addiction -- I've had to limit myself to three; crochet, sewing and my new one, scrapboooking. I've tried to figure out what's up with this particular obsession. I stockpile fabric, yarn, paper, buttons, baby food jars... you name it. I suppose it all comes back to the creating thing. It's life-giving to me.

So here's the problem...

As you probably know, we've been in this house for less than a year. Fortunately, my husband is very good to me (don't be jealous, ladies :-) and has allowed me ONE WHOLE ROOM to be my very own and devoted to crafts (and other stuff having to do with stuff I need to do, too, but mainly to crafts!). Again, that problem I mentioned? The room is not "done" yet. It actually became an overflow room for "crap" (pardon my language. I mean it figuratively, not literally) as we've gotten settled into the house.

The grand realization -- there is a bit of frustration in my day to day mind because I don't have the SPACE to be creative like I want to be (not for lack of house, but excess of unorganization). And I suppose the main reason I'm blogging all of this is so that I will be kind of accountable to get this room done. The ball lies in my court really. And I'm not that far from having it done. I just have to sort through a little more of the aforementioned crap (I've done a lot of it already), buy curtain fabric, match and buy a paint color, prime and paint the room and arrange everything in a conducive way to do what needs to be done. Simple, huh.

So should I set a date? Jeesh, that's scary. I guess I will and you can all hunt me down and tickle me if I don't get it done.

OK. (ahem) The date by which I want to have my craft room/office done is... Sunday, April 22.

I just wrote it on my calendar... in pen.

Oooo. That's scary. Roughly a month away with a Spring Break mixed in. It's right before I fly to Ohio for Women of Faith, though, so maybe I could consider that my reward :-) I like rewards.

Thanks for reading. Just trying to figure myself out here. I'll keep you updated on my progress!

Happiness is...

...scrapbooking with my friend, Lynn, while listening to '80s music.

Life seriously does not get much better.

American Idol

I like American Idol. I managed to get sucked in about every year.

This year, my money is on Melinda Doolittle. Period.

I liked LaKisha at first, but after Ms. Doolittle delivered her interpretation of "My Funny Valentine" a few weeks ago, I changed camps. I still like LaKisha and a couple of others, but I'll say it again, Melinda gets my vote.

I think there are a few in the top 12 that really shouldn't be there. There are a couple of contestants that try to cover up lack of vocal quality with runs and fancy schmancy singing. No thanks. I guess we'll just wait as there are picked off one by one.

Rumore has it that they're raising the age limit to 35 next year. I've always wanted to go for it, but have been too old. Not now.

Hmmmm....

Congratulations!

First of all, sending out a big happy birthday to my daddy today! Yea!

Second of all, my friend, Kate, had her baby today. His name is Jonas Caleb and he weighed TEN pounds and was 23 inches long! Whoo hoo. From all reports I hear, Kate and Jonas are both doing well.

Happy birthday, little man. Welcome to the world!

Ahhhh!

I am sitting here, listening to my five-year-old crying in his bed because I threw away his old toothbrush (which was a little gross, by the way). Mind you, he has a perfectly good, much cooler (in my opinion) toothbrush.

And yet he cries.

Sometimes, you just can't win.

Happiness is...

Old mailbox...

New mailbox...

100th Post!

Well, friends, this is officially my 100th post. How cool am I? I thought I would compose some somgs to commemorate the occasion (of course, I've stolen the melodies so you, the at-home viewer, can sing along):

100 Posts
(sung to the tune of "O Christmas Tree")

100 posts, 100 posts,
I've written just 100 posts,
(repeat)
100 times to laugh and cry,
I'll tell the truth and never lie.

100 posts, 100 posts,
I'll now shoot for 200 posts!



The Star Spangled Posts (work with me here!)
(if you don't know what this is sung to, then you have issues)

Oh say, can you read, by the computers light,
All my posts on my blog that come out of my head,
I like to write about life,
And my kids and my house,
And on every Friday, I can post something happy.
And the posts shall go on, through the days and the years,
And I hope, in the midst, you won't shed many tears,
Oh say does that blog of Katy's still say,
That she's happy to be here, posting blogs everyday!
(Ta da!)

Katy's Blog
(Sung to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas")

Oh the blog of my friend Katy, is always fun to read,
She writes about some silly stuff, yes, silly stuff indeed.
There are links to other blogs there that are also fun to read,
Like Becca, Ami, Jen, Melissa - lots of stuff you need.

And one more...

Post Now!
(Sung to the chorus of "Oh Susanna")

Come on, Katy,
And post a blog for me,
'Cause if you don't I will be so sad,
And won't ask you out to tea.

OK. That's all I've got. Thanks for reading... 100 times!

I heart eggs

I made myself a scrambled egg yesterday. When I opened the egg carton, I saw...Now, I'm not sure why, but that made me smile.

I hope your eggs think you're beautiful, too.
(I know I do)

Happiness is...

The Office... it's SO very funny!

Too much sickness!

Hey everybody. I hope the sicknesses of winter have not been having their way with your family like they have with mine! There have been two brands of sickness with the Stevens: one is a not-quite-24-hour stomach that involves a decent amount of vomit, the other is a stuffy head, cold thingy. The latter sent Jacob to the doctor's office today with a diagnosis of a nasty ear infection coupled with bronchitis (which she said would have been pneumonia in another day).

So I've said all that to say that I hope your family is faring better than ours. Fortunately, we're on the tail-end of everything.

Stay healthy and warm!

Happiness is...

...wearing your pajamas to school!




(NOTE: this is the first in my new series of Friday Happiness is... posts. Enjoy!)

February 21, 1995

Twelve years ago today, after four very easy hours of labor, our son, Caleb, came into this world. He was such a good baby – very sweet, slept a lot, really not any trouble at all. That’s pretty much the way the rest of his ten years went.

You know, life is really strange sometimes. When your child is born, you just naturally assume that you’ll never have to experience life without them. Little did we know, as we stroked his little head, that ten years was all we were going to have with him. I’m strangely comforted, though, in the fact that God knew. He had a mission for Caleb from the very start and knew that his journey would be shorter than most.



It’s natural for me to want to speculate about Caleb on his birthday or any random day, really. I want to wonder how tall he would have been now, how he would have liked middle school, if he would have had a girlfriend. But I’ve realized that there is no use in speculating. Caleb was never meant to turn twelve today. As hard as that is to swallow, God had a ten-year mission for him on this side of eternity. That’s all. We can “what if” and “how come” until we’re blue in the face, but the fact is that God has all of our days written out and that His plan supercedes all.

Our son’s life has and will continue to touch others. Whether it’s someone hearing of his faith or how God has sustained us through these events, God WILL be glorified in this situation.

Please don’t get me wrong, friends. My heart is breaking on this milestone day. I can’t put into words how much I miss my son. It’s just that eternity seems so close sometimes. My husband was with our son as he slipped from one side of time to the other and it doesn’t seem that far away (and at other times seems like an eternity in itself!).

(Joshua - 16 months, Caleb - a few weeks old; March 1995)

I will say it again and again. Each and every day is a gift from God. He promised us that it would be hard, but with His strength to get through it. I see His love and compassion through so many thinking of us today – friends who have, in the midst of their own busy lives and schedules, taken the time to remember that today is a notable on for our family. For that, I am so blessed and thankful.

God is good, my friends. Please rest in that today.

Night at the Museum

We took the boys to see "Night at the Museum" today. It was a great, very family friendly movie -- cleanest family film we've seen since Narnia. The cast was stellar; I especially enjoyed Dick Van Dyke. He's still amazing after years of entertaining. Micah even recognized him from "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" (one of his favorites). Ben Stiller never ceases to be entertaining. He's loveable in his typical dorky manner.

This is one movie worth seeing in theaters, too. It has a lot of "big" effects. From the dinosaurs, to the stagecoach to the wooly mammoth -- it's big, loud, kinda shiny and fast.

There is a strong thread of character and stepping up to challenges throughout the film. Robin Williams' entertaining dipiction of Theodore Roosevelt is a pivotal part in driving this concept home. Actually, there's a great amount of history snuck in throughout the whole film.

I really recommend this one, especially before it hits the DVD shelves.

Who's Your Daddy Now?

Hello friends. I have some cool stuff to share.

Matt and I have a good friend by the name of Dr. Doug Stringer. Doug is the founder and dude-in-charge of a ministry based out of Houston, TX called Somebody Cares America. Doug is getting ready to release his new book, Who's Your Daddy Now. We are humbled to be included in this new publication. Please read the excerpt below:

Excerpt From Who’s Your Daddy Now?
By Doug Stringer
Chapter 5: Leading by Example

I gained some insight about a commonly used biblical phrase, “laying on of hands.” Even though hands were laid on people to impart healing and ordain them to ministry, one of the original roots of the practice was to pass on "the blessing" from one generation to another, like Jacob did with his sons.

Laying on of hands is not something you can do by phone, e-mail, or fax. You have to be there. One of the tragedies for many young people today is that they don't have parents who are truly there for them, in person and by example. They don’t have dads and moms present in person to impart to them the value or even the techniques of interaction. . .

Matt, an emerging generational leader, told me how he demonstrated the love of God in this way to his oldest son, Joshua, who was 12 at the time. Josh is strong and muscular and growing up very much in the image of his dad.

Matt and his wife, Katy, coordinate a youth initiative throughout the Northeast including Baltimore, New York City, and various locations in New England. One day, during an outreach in Lowell, Massachusetts, the teams of young people were in an intense time of prayer and worship. They had been out all day serving the community with work projects.

Just a year earlier, I had been the keynote speaker for their outreach in that same community. Several of the interns ministered to me during a time of prayer led by Matt and Katy’s 10-year-old son Caleb, who had been a pivotal part of the outreach with his energy, zeal, and enthusiasm. Just a few days after I left, Caleb went to be with Jesus as the result of a car accident.

Josh was also in the accident, but survived. A year later, he was still reeling from all that happened. During this time of prayer and worship, he went off by himself, feeling tired, fearful, and confused. As Matt tells the story:

Knowing Josh had suffered a loss no 12-year-old can easily endure, I walked up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder. He was slouched in his seat, and his face was covered so no one would see him crying. I leaned over to gently speak in his ear and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I don't know.”
I knew that meant I should ask again.
“What’s the matter?”
He told me he felt scared, like God was far away from him.
The Holy Spirit quickened me to ask him: “Do you know how close God is?”
“No.”
I quickly replied, saying; “He is this close.”
I then scooped down and gripped him, putting my arms around him and hugging him as long and as hard as I could.
Josh didn’t need my theology or thoughts at that point. He needed a tangible understanding of how much God loves him and how close He really is.
Later that evening, he thanked me and asked, “What do kids do when they feel far from God and don’t have a dad to hold them?”
Even in his youth, Josh recognized the need for human touch, for the tangible touch of a father.

One Christmas, a team of five families from Warren, Pennsylvania came to Houston, giving up their own holiday to serve others during our Holiday of Hope ministry and other Christmas outreaches. As one of the dads on the team was helping a five-year-old girl and her mom pick out Christmas toys from our fellowship hall, the little girl looked up to him and said, “Could you give me a hug for my daddy? I don’t have a daddy.” He hugged her as he held back his tears.

God depends on us to be that father in the flesh to those who don’t have a dad to hold them. Let us not be afraid to impart this intimacy. Let us not be afraid to “be there,” in person and by example. It was no mistake He chose to pass on blessings through the laying on of hands.

Pretty cool, huh.

You can pre-order Doug's book by clicking here. We would be thrilled if you did.

My son is throwing up...

...which is really a shame because school is cancelled today because of snow. I told Josh that he is wasting a perfectly good snow day and THAT, my friends, is a shame. Seriously, though, he looks quite pitiful and I hope he feels better soon... and that he doesn't pass this to anyone else in the family!

Anybody want to fight?

Prize fighters fight for a prize. Freedom fighters fight for freedom. Fire fighters fight fire. Crime fighters fight crime.

What does a foo fighter fight?




Foo?



What is that?

What the...?

People can't even spank their own kids anymore? What is this world coming to?

Sunday

NOTE: I tried to post this yesterday (Monday) but blogspot was being quite stubborn. So jump in your time machine... and read it yesterday.

So I guess I’m a big liar.

I really should have learned in my 34 years of life to never use the words, “I promise.” Sets you up for no good often enough.

Yeah, so I didn’t blog. I am encouraged, however, that there have been some peeps checking up on me, so if you’re still tuning in despite my absence… thanks ☺ It really does mean a lot.

When I was a kid, I tried on many occasions to keep a diary. I would do well for while and then fall behind. I would then make a list of the things I wanted to record – dates and events – so I could do everything in order to make it look like I didn’t let huge amounts of time lapse. In retrospect, that was a little silly. I’ve decided not to do that here. As tempted as I am to “back-blog” about lots of cool stuff, I will not. I will blog today about what’s on my mind and as past stuff comes to it, I’ll include it. So there. If that means New Year’s party pictures in March, so be it.

Please keep reading, dear reader. I’ve got some interesting stuff on the noggin to share.

Yesterday was Sunday. Matt and I have a good friend named Rachel whom we’ve known for about seven years -- ever since we’ve been in Baltimore actually. She and her good-looking crew of boys joined us at church yesterday which was really cool. We’ve been hoping she could visit for a long time. We loaded up all the kiddos after the service with plans to drive across the street to the mall for lunch. We pulled up in front to see if Rach had gotten the message of where to meet us when her oldest son, Gavin, said, “Miss Katy, my mom said she has someone inside that she wants you to meet.” So I hustled inside.

There are times in your life where God just sets you up in a very cool way. Allow me to rewind for a moment. Over a year ago, I had heard of a family who’s daughter (five years old at the time) was diagnosed with a face tumor. We prayed for Christina at our women’s Bible study (ironically held at Rachel’s apartment) and at school last year with my 6th graders. Rachel actually got a chance to meet and spend time with her and her family while volunteering at Johns Hopkins last fall. This past spring we heard of Christina’s passing after a long struggle and it was devastating to me. It really did hit me hard. I did hear though, in the midst of all the sorrow, that her family had an incredible testimony of faith, particularly her mother.

Well, yesterday after church, I found myself in the embrace of this mother, Trae Bennington. I had heard so much about her, I almost felt as if I were meeting a celebrity. Trae has heard part of our story and I was so thankful for the instant bond we felt. When you lose a child, there is nothing like looking in the eyes of someone who has felt the same pain. We have plans to meet for lunch soon and connect some more.

February is a hard month. Today marks 18 months since Caleb died. The 21st of this month would have been his 12th birthday. It’s still hard. Very hard some days.

There is just something very raw and refreshing about being face to face with someone who has experienced pain like you have. Our circumstances were different in that theirs was a longer process and ours was very sudden – I haven’t decided if one is “easier” than the other. I look forward to a new connection which, I feel, was set-up by God.

More to come later. Lighter stuff, like pictures of my new mailbox!


PS - If you want to click on Christina's link, the user name is christina, password is jesussaves

... and a Happy New Year

Oh my goodness, there has been so much going on -- and so much I want to blog about. Not right now. I'm on my way out the door for a date with my husband (Whoo hoo!).

I'll blog tomorrow -- I promise!

:-)

Merry Christmas!

Hello, everyone. I hope all of you out there had a wonderful day. We enjoyed a nice (relatively) quiet day at home and all enjoyed being together and relaxing.

I will blog more about my Christmas thoughts later.

The following is a video of my son, Caleb, and I singing "Star of Bethlehem" together at church back in December of 2002. He was 7 years old and did such a great job.



I sincerely pray all of you reading had a terrific day. Love to all...

The electrician is here!

Do you know what that means?

Well, I will tell you.

It means that, after six months, the lovely, new dishwasher that has been sitting in my kitchen will finally WORK!

That, my friends, is the best Christmas gift.

Sunrise and other things

Every morning, our son, Joshua, has to get up at 6:30am for school.

Yuck.

I know a lot of people all over the world get up a heck of a lot earlier but that is not my preference. I am NOT a morning person, nor have I ever been, nor will I probably ever be. Fortunately, I married a compassionate man who I willing to share the parental load. We take turns getting up with the boy while the other gets an extra hour or so of sleep.

The couch in the front room has become the nesting place while we wait for Josh to get himself in gear. The coolest part is that God knew this set-up would be taking place and arranged for a beautiful view of the sunrise while we wait. How very sweet of him. Here are some shots of this morning's beauty:







Nothing terribly earth-shattering, but I enjoyed it.

So it's five days until Christmas. There's a lot going on for us, as I'm sure there is for you as well. This past Sunday was my students' recital. Out of the 16 students I teach, 13 of them were able to participate in the recital. Everyone did very well and the recital itself went off without any major hitches.


I've finally realized that recitals are not necessarily about performing your piece perfectly. It's more about gaining the experience of playing in front of others and showcasing the skills you've gained since the LAST recital. The highlight of the event for me was getting to sing a duet with one of my older students, Jennifer. She was with me until about two years ago and is back now, her voice more mature and beautiful then ever. We sang "Mary, Did You Know?" It was nice.

The first Friday of the month, we had the Loonies Pajama Cookie Bake at my friend, Lynn's, house; an event that we have decided to make an annual thing. We all taught together last year and build ourselves a reputation of being a little too silly at times and were told we were "looney". So we have taken on the identity proudly and, even though none of us work together anymore (though we all managed to end up at the same church), we try to have our gatherings as often as possible.

The whole cookie bake thing was Lynn's idea. We all brought the ingredients to make a favorite treat and we helped each other make them. True to my Ohio roots, I brought the makings for Buckeyes. Jess did black bottoms, which is a Maryland thing. Lynnie had made oatmeal cookies and Jen did sugar cookies. Everything was good and fun and I really thank God for such awesome friends.

That's about it for now, I guess. We are looking forward to a relatively quiet Christmas here at home. Mom, Dad and Jen are driving in on the 28th to celebrate not only Christmas, but Mom and Dad's 32nd wedding anniversary as well. After that, our nephew, David, who is in the military, will be here for a few days. We're hosting a New Year's Eve party this year, so if you're not doing anything already to ring in 2007, consider doing it with us and some of our friends.

In any event, I pray you are well, readers. Be at peace, stay safe, eat lots of cookies and enjoy God's blessings this season!

Hey! Do this. It's fun and will change your life...

Create your own friendquiz here

Hace frio

Waiting for the bus this morning was reminiscent of freezing my butt off doing the same growing up in Ohio.

Thanksgiving pictures

Once again, I decided that a slide show would be the easiest way to do this. Enjoy...

Good news

I did NOT gain any weight over the Thanksgiving holiday.

Pictures coming soon (of the Thansgiving holiday -- not of me not gaining weight).

Rescue me

Would somebody please come and rescue me from all of these loud, smelly males? There is WAY too much testoterone in this house.









Help...

Autumn in my neighborhood...

We had a particularly beautiful autumn this year. I was fortunate to be able to capture some of the brilliant colors before the leaves fell off of the trees. Enjoy...


This is the backyard


















These were taken at Micah and Jacob's bus stop...
























And THIS is me!



Happy Fall, y'all!

On a lighter note...

I never did blog about Joshua's birthday. I think I'm in denial. This "having a teenager" thing is freaking me out. I know people have teenagers all over the world, but, nevertheless, it's still freaking me out.

On October 25, 1993, Matt and I brought a 7lb. 11oz., 20.5 inch bald-headed little baby into this world.

Two weeks ago, this 5'10" 215lb. baby turned 13.

Ah, the magic of time.

Josh is a good boy. He's polite and thoughtful. Does he have an attitude sometimes? Absolutely. But when it all comes down, he makes good choices and is a sweet guy. He's funny, honing his sense of humor more so the last year I've noticed.

He's in the 7th grade this year at Pine Grove Middle and is doing well. Grade cards come out in about another week so more on that later.

The difference between 12 and 13 is pretty big. Lats year on his birthday, he was still asking for toys. This year, it's shoes, jerseys, xbox games and cold, hard cash! And these shoes we speak of? He's in a size 14 now. Help!

Tomorrow night we're having a party. Josh has invited five or six of his friends from school, football and the old neighborhood. Pray for our sanity and nice weather and whatever else you think would help!

PS - Like my cake?

Loss

I went to the cemetery today. I don't go very often. It's too hard sometimes.

I talk to Caleb at the cemetery. I know he's not there and he can't here me, but I talk to him anyway. I think I do it more for me than for him. Actually, I know I do.

What prompted me to go is his little brother. Our youngest, Jacob, has been talking about Caleb more than ever lately. We were pulling into the Walmart parking lot yesterday and heard Jacob crying in the backseat. I asked him what was wrong and he just said, "Caleb" and burst into tears. He acted similarly the rest of the day and even a little today (I'm kind of concerned about school for him tomorrow. They've been off the last two days). Jacob was only four when his brother died. Though it's been just over a year and he's only five now, I still wonder if the reality of what has happened is starting to sink in. I just tell him that he can think about and cry about Caleb as much as he wants. And if he wants to think about him and not cry, that's OK, too.

Loss is such a weird process. Abnormal or unexpected loss more so. I mean, we all have loss. Everyone can relate to losing a grandparent and, sadly and eventually, a parent. My heart breaks for those who lose a spouse. This loss of a child is so...

There are no words. Or manuals. Just layers. And when you think you have worked through your layers, more peel back and are somehow deeper. I told my friend, Sue, that after a year, the highs get a little higher so it seems that when you do fall, you fall further.

So I stand in a cemetery and think about and talk to and miss my ten-year-old. I cry. I push back how much I miss him and think about all that he is experiencing with his Father. That helps. I kiss his grave marker before I leave every time.

And then I go home to three beautiful boys and an incredible husband. I thank God for every day we have and everything with which we have been blessed.

And continue this journey...

How many of me?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 13 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Football

You know, life is interesting sometimes.

I don't get football. Never have, really. What's more surprising is that I sat through 5 years of high school football games -- by being a proud member of the Pleasant High School Marching Spartans -- yes, I was a band geek (5 years because I marched as an 8th grader). All of that aside, I watched all of that football and didn't "get it". You have downs and flags and ... stuff.

Strangly enough, at 34 years old, football has become a big thing in my life lately. Our 13-year-old son has just completed his first football season. When I wasn't helping our younger two decide which coloring book belonged to whom, I was peppering my husband with questions about the game. So I learned a little.

Also, we've never been ones to watch THE game, but again, our son's recent involvement in the sport has caused an interest to watch a game or two (usually the Patriots or the Ravens). The people to whom's house we go for small group are also into football.



So, after all of these years, I'm starting to "get it." The downs, fumbles, penalties, scoring system are all starting to make a little more sense. And I guess it's kind of fun. So I close with this thought -- Go Buckeyes -- and this picture of my future NFL player...

Food for thought...

Would you like fries with that?

Katy's Quirkiness Challenge

Thought it was time for a little challenge of my own. Here's what you do; list five things about yourself that are unusual, anal or quirky. Try to find things people might not already know about you. Comment away and everyone who reads this is automatically tagged.

Here are mine to start:

1. I hate to eat on trays. They make me feel institutionalized.
2. I don't like cottage cheese and tomato juice, respectively, even though I've never tasted either one.
3. I've always wanted to change my middle name to Elizabeth.
4. The finality of dropping something in a mailbox bothers me a great deal.
5. I'm particularly good at spelling and grammar.

So there you have it -- just for fun I guess. I'll blog about deeper things later.

Josh's Doctor's Visit

Today, during Joshua's 13-year-old check up (his birthday is two weeks from Wednesday), Dr. Bittar told me about how tall we can expect him to be based on his size now and the growth curves.

She said he'll most likely end up between 6'4" and 6'6".

Fortunately, she said the feet do tend to grow first. Good news considering his football cleats are a size 13.





Help.

Jen's Clever Ugly Picture Challenge

Yes, I am a willing participant in my sister's latest brainchild. These are the details in her words:

I hereby challenge you to find the most unflattering picture you have of yourself and post it on your blog.
The rules are:
1. Post an ugly picture of yourself,
2. Don't post ugly pictures of your unsuspecting friends, and
3. Everyone who comments on the Ugly Picture Post must come up with a clever caption that fits your picture.

So here's my picture. It's one I particularly hate. The story is -- my friend Jess had just gotten herself all purdied up at the hair salon and came over to show me. I subsequently looked like crap and we were able to capture the moment forever.




Ewwwww!


Tag. You're it.

Jesus Camp

Hmmm. The "Jesus Camp" movie was just brought to my attention for the first time today.

I repeat. Hmmmmm...

Let me give you a bit of my background and then I'll give you my unsolicited opinion. I was raised Baptist, conservative. In college, I leaned more toward the charismatic. My husband and I have ministered in about every type of church you could imagine from Lutheran to Pentecostal. I've had hands laid on me, prayed for healings, raised my hands during worship, felt God giving me a sense when praying for others and even privately speak in tongues on occasion while praying. I believe that God hears me just the same, though, when I pray silently or sing a hymn.

I watched this trailer today and have watched several other commentaries and opinions.

Mine?

I love God. That's the bottom line. And not much thrills me more than to see Him working in and through children. What concerns me, though, is the extreme I am observing. I hear these kids saying things that are not "kid" things to say. It seems they are repeating by rote something that has been taught to them; something they might not even understand. I'm wondering if there is a heart connection. Also I've noticed something else that I'm not crazy about, here and in many other charismatic and pentecostal circles. The "gifts" are there to enhance our relationship with God; much like a toolbox. I always get concerned when the gifts become the focus.

Our personal philosophy in ministry has become much more practical. Sure, you can come to church and have a great experience with God, but are you different when you leave? Better yet, are you in a place to be a tangible blessing to someone else?

Yes, we are warring for a generation. I definitely understand that. How are we going to reach a world though, if we're not speaking their language? I don't mean to compromise the message of Christ by any means. But I've seen a sweaty construction worker on a hot, summer day genuinely blessed by someone offering him a cold bottle of water. Would he have been as touched by someone approaching him to ask if he was saved? The bottle of water might offer that opportunity, though. And it might not. God may have that job for someone else down the road.

Can we focus on teaching kids to look for tangible ways to be a blessing to their friends and then trust God to open doors? Why do we feel such a desperation to lead someone to a relationship with Christ the way we think it should be done instead of operate within His timing.

OK. I'm off the topic. Sorry. Maybe we would do best to stick to the example Jesus set for us. He strived to obey God at all times, but he also chose to be very aware of the practical needs of those around Him. He fed hungry people. When they were sick, he fixed them. He did go off and spend time with his Father when he needed to, but most of His ministry was spend making His Father's plan relevant.

Your comments?

My 15 years of school... in retrospect

OK. So I'm copying Becca. But having my kids in 7th grade, 2nd grade and kindergarten, respectively, does make me reflect on my school years. Here's a recap:

We didn't have preschool in the late '70's.

Kindergarten - I went to River Valley (we moved the next summer). Mrs. Gandert was my teacher. She was nice but I really remember the assistant, Mrs. Comstock. She and I had the same favorite color -- orange. I got in trouble for stealing a candy lipstick thing off of the desk and holding it my hand for all of recess. I got in trouble. It was slightly traumatic.

1st Grade - Pleasant from here on out. I had Mrs. Short. She was... short. I sat next to a boy named Chad who ate glue and I faked a nap on my desk once.

2nd Grade - Mrs. Kay had a reputation for being mean, but she was OK. I coughed in the direction of a girl who was friends with a girl I wanted to be my best friend. I wanted her to get sick. That wasn't very nice. She didn't get sick anyway.

3rd Grade - Mrs. Michaels was my favorite in elementary. My best friend, Tara, was in my class. We learned cursive. It was a good year.

4th Grade - Got my hair cut short and permed. I had Mrs. Truka. My sister had her too. She was nice, but I sat across from a girl who was mean. I did a book report on Amelia Earhart and dressed up like her. A picture of me reading to my mom was in the yearbook. I was in the first gfted and talented program with only one other girl from my grade.

5th Grade - Mrs. Young was nice. We were in the junior high building. I liked to read Noelle Streatfield books from the library. I had Mrs. Sharp for math. She was grouchy.

6th Grade - Mr. Gorby went to our church and I liked him. Jen had him, too. He had every class build bridges out of posterboard. I had Mr. Covert for science. He was mean. Cabbage Patch Kids were big that year.

7th - 8th Grade - These two years were not the highlight of my school career. I was tall and awkward. I had some teachers I liked and some I didn't. Mr. Coffman was cool. I had Mr. Stevens for history and he was HARD. I flunked two tests in that class and cried a lot. I liked Mrs. Dendinger. I was in her class when the space shuttle blew up. I loved my band director, Mr. Holsinger. He let me march in the high school marching band in 8th grade.

9th - 12th Grade - High school was fun. I could sing and found my niche. The best teacher by far was Mrs. Gruber, the librarian. I never sat through a study hall because I was busy working or hanging out in the library. I still keep in touch with her. I also loved Mrs. Burris, the chorus teacher. Mrs. Stoneburner was a hard English teacher but also the drama director. I got in trouble (with my mom) for getting mad at Mr. Hall and yelling at him. Overall, I really enjoyed high school.

13th -14th Grade - I was a vocal performance major at the University of Akron. My sister was there, too and we had fun. Dr. Schiller was my voice teacher. She was rarely on time for lessons. It was annoying. I liked our choir director, Dr. MacClary, and our opera scenes guy, Mr. Anderson, even though he usually smelled like alcohol.

I got married the next summer with plans to go back, but things went in a different direction. I'll go back someday.



That was fun. Thanks, Becca.

Try it...

I'm cool.

My almost 13-year-old son is impressed that I have Green Day on my iPod.

Does life get any better?

Put down the cheeseburger and back away slowly...

OK. So I'm watching Maury and am getting a little irritated. It's the show he does from time to time about obese children -- we're talking three-year-olds that weigh like 85 lbs. What really kills me is that the parents come on here crying about how worried they are about their child's health (as they should be), but then they show footage of these poor children stuffing cheeseburgers, fries and pizza in their mouths.

OK. Here's an idea. STOP BUYING THAT FOOD FOR YOUR CHILD! I guarantee the kid didn't hop in the family minivan and drive through the McDonald's drive thru. If you're genuinely concerned about your child's health, STOP putting chili cheese fries on the tray of their high chair!

Their argument is that the child will cry if they don't get what they want. And... Don't most kids cry when they don't get their way?

There are over 12 million obese children in the United States. Now don't get me wrong. I have a bigger-than-average 12-year-old myself. We, as a family, as trying to practice more portion control and get moving more. I just think it's a sad commentary about us as Americans and the inability to delay gratification and exercise some self-control. Especially when we're talking about a three- or four-year-old.

Maybe I should just stop watching Maury.

Tucker's new project

My dog, Tucker, is digging a hole to China. He will send you a postcard when he gets there.

I got gas for $2.09/gallon today!

See. It doesn't take a whole heck of a lot to make me happy :-)

My myspace space

I guess since I linked to Tom's (not THE Tom. We had to clarify that) myspace, I thought you might enjoy seeing mine, too. It is kinda fun. I've found several people from old youth groups, college, high school, etc. Mostly my friends and I here in Baltimore use it for our general amusement and inside jokes that no one else gets any way.

Twenty years ago today...

I can't believe I'm going to do this. It will prove to be quite embarrassing...

...ahem...

Twenty years ago today was September 27, 1987. Duh. You already know that, right? Well, what you may not know is that twenty years ago today, I was a freshman in high school going to my first homecoming with my first boyfriend, Kelvin Shaw. ... sigh... I liked him. He gave me a necklace. Oh, I can't believe I'm going to do this... OK... brace yourself... here it comes...



AHHHHH! But look how skinny I was. Geesh. I think I weighed like 120 lbs. Oh, and that's our dog, Taffy. She's fetching sticks with Jesus now. I've lost track of Kelvin, but would love to find him again.

Of course, I can't do this without sucking other people into the vortex of embarrassment. Here's my sister and her friend/date/all-around good guy, Tom Thomas.

Awwww. BTW, the reason she is smiling with her mouth closed is because of the braces. Fortunately, those have been removed now and her teeth are quite lovely. Tom has a myspace and we have just recently reconnected. Myspace is good for that.

Now, I didn't mention to you that homecoming also happened to occur on my best friend, Kelly's, 14th birthday. We double dated. It was exciting. Wishing you a big happy 34th, Kel, with this one of you and Jeremy right here...



Nice tie, huh. You gotta love the '80's!

Comment. Or, maybe on second thought, don't.

Monday thoughts...

I noticed something this morning. I had just put the boys on the bus and was letting Tucker out in the back yard (did I mention I LOVE my backyard?) and I noticed the trees.

The leaves on the trees in the backyard are starting to change color.

You're probably thinking, "Katy, you do know the leaves change color every year, don't you?"

Yes. I know that.

Last year, though, I missed a lot of things. Last September in my mind was a fuzz of greiving, and when I wasn't doing that, teaching school. I completely missed fall last year. I didn't notice it until they had already fallen off the trees.

I also realized I was home alone (Matt is in Denver doing a CR weekend) and was OK with that. See, I'm not the kind of person that does as well alone as I do with others and, after Caleb died, I had really issues with being home alone.

I'm just very aware today of God's healing. We have been through a season of intense mourning. Not that we don't still miss him. He's talked about every day in our home. It seems now that we are in a season of enjoying and appreciating God's grace, blessings and goodness.

I like it.

My final thought for the day. A bathroom shared by two little boys, five and seven, can get really disgusting. I cleaned it today. They're like little heathens. YUCK!

Have a good week :-D